“Never left, actually.”
Dad took a drink of his tea and looked between my sister and me. Something was up; that was obvious.
“I’ll just be checking on your mum, then,” he said before walking out of the kitchen.
“Get to it, Lil. What’s going on?”
When she bit her bottom lip, I knew it was something big.
“Two things, actually.”
“Yes?”
“First, I’m pregnant.”
“That’s bloody brilliant.” I smiled and hugged her.
“And…the second you might not be as happy about, but before you decide to be a wanker about it, remember this party is as much for Wills and me as it is for you.”
I motioned for her to go on.
“Pia is coming.”
“I see.” I grabbed the back of the chair. “Lily, I…”
“My party too, Miles. And Wills’.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see her. I did. Desperately so. What I wasn’t so certain about was how she might react to seeing me.
“Excuse me.” I went upstairs, pulled my prescription pack out of the bag, and opened the lid of one of several bottles. My modus operandi when it came to my pain management became: if one is good, more are better. I dumped a handful of the small white pills into my palm, tossed them in my mouth, and swallowed. When I came out of my room and walked around the corner, I saw Lily leaning up against the wall, arms crossed.
“What the fuck, Miles?”
“Let it go, Lily.”
“The hell, I will.” She scooted around me, grabbed my bag, and pulled out my prescription pack. The only way I could get it from her would be to hurt her, and even in my compromised state of thinking, I wouldn’t do that.
“Does Carson know about all this?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“The hell, it isn’t.”
“What’s going on in here?” said my father, coming down the hallway.
“This,” she said, pointing to the various bottles the pack held, and reminding me of what a tattler she’d been when we were wee ones.
My father’s eyes met mine, and in them, I saw the same pain I had so many times before, only now it was so much worse. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve never felt like such a failure as a father and as a man.”
His words nearly floored me. I stumbled backwards, landing on the bed I’d slept in since childhood.
“It isn’t you, Dad. It’s nothing to do with you.”
He sat down next to me. “You are flesh of my flesh. How can this have nothing to do with me? You’re an extension of me. Both you and your sister. Of your mum too.”
“Don’t get Mum involved in this. I beg you.”
“I can’t lie to her. I won’t.”