She stood, and I sat in her chair, pulling her onto my lap. I rested my hand on her stomach and looked into her eyes. I wanted so much to tell her I loved her because I did with all my heart. She wouldn’t trust it, though. Not yet. First I had to show her, let her feel my love. Then, when I said the words, she’d believe me.
21
Pia
Why couldn’t I tell him how I really felt? What was stopping me from simply saying how truly happy I was that he was here with me? That being held in his arms did help take the stress away? Not just with the baby, but with everything.
I loved the feeling of his hand on my stomach. It was as though he wasn’t just promising me he’d be here, he was promising the same thing to our baby. What made me think even for a moment that I could do this on my own? More, how could I have been so selfish? Mylos deserved to be part of our baby’s life, in the same way he or she would deserve to have a father who was present.
After what happened when I was last in London, a part of me worried I’d wake up one morning and he’d be gone. I feared not being able to reach him, worrying about him, wondering if he was coming back. Only time would tell if my fears would materialize. In the meantime, I couldn’t spend every moment doubting him.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Today is better than the last few days.”
“You said you’ve been reading books about having a baby?”
“Sì. It feels overwhelming, but then I realize women have been doing this for thousands of years without the benefit of a book to tell them what to expect.”
“How many people know you’re pregnant?”
“Three. Me, you, and Lily.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Lily, but not your mother?”
“Not yet.” I couldn’t say why I hadn’t confided in her. Maybe I was waiting for it to feel more real to me.
“I meant what I said about helping you with Valentini, Pia. All you have to do is tell me what you need.”
I smiled. “A couple million euros would come in handy.”
“Done.”
My eyes searched his. He was serious. “I was kidding, Mylos.”
“If money is what you need, I can give it to you.”
I’d never thought about whether he was wealthy. It hadn’t mattered. His parents’ house in London was lovely but modest.
He nuzzled my neck. “Tell me what’s been going on, Pia. All of it. Whatever burdens you’ve carried on your shoulders, I want to take.”
“Why?” It seemed a silly question, but I wanted to know. Why would he take on the struggles of a place where he’d spent little time, for a woman with whom he’d spent little time?
He took a deep breath and cupped my cheek with his palm. “I haven’t done a very good job telling you how much you mean to me. That’s going to change.”
He brought his lips to mine, and I didn’t hesitate. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. He was gentle; I was not. I wanted this man with the same passion I always did.
I stood and held out my hand. When he took it, I led him inside and up the stairs. I saw the bed was unmade in the room he’d stayed in years before. I stepped inside and lifted my sweater over my head.
Mylos unfastened my bra and then my pants. He knelt before me and slid them and my panties off my body. As I stood before him naked, he rested his cheek against my stomach.
“Is this…safe?” he asked.
I nodded, took a step back, sat on the edge of the bed, and watched the beautiful man remove his clothing. He felt self-conscious about his scars, but they didn’t bother me. They were part of him, and I loved him. Every part.
I rested against the pillows and spread my legs. Mylos knelt between them. He kissed his way from my pelvic bone up my torso. When he licked my nipples, I squirmed.
“Ticklish?” he asked.