Riled (The Invincibles 4)

She turned her head enough that she could look at me. “Marta said there was a baby.”

I closed my eyes, knowing Kensington could feel my pain. “Yes,” I whispered.

“I’m sorry, Cortez.”

I shook my head, and a tear fell down my cheek. For every moment I mourned Celestina, I mourned our unborn child twice as much. I knew it was a boy, not because a doctor confirmed it, just because I knew.

He would be the same age as my brother’s oldest son. I’d never told anyone about the baby. I sensed my mother knew, but she’d never said anything either.

The only person who had known Celestina was pregnant at the time of her death was Marta, and I wasn’t upset with her for telling Kensington. I can’t say whether I ever would have or not. That she did know, soothed me, though.

“Can I ask you something?”

I looked into the warmth of her amber eyes. “Anything.”

“Do you want to have children someday?”

If anyone other than Kensington had asked, I would’ve said I didn’t see myself becoming a father. Or maybe it wasn’t “other than her,” maybe it was before her.

“I would like that very much. What about you?”

“If you had asked me that a few months ago, I would’ve said I didn’t see myself becoming a mother.”

I kissed her cheek, unable to hold in my laughter.

“What? Is that funny?”

“Not at all, it’s just that I thought those same words, almost exactly. How do you feel now, my darling?”

“I worry that I wouldn’t be good at it. You know, because of Kiki.”

“But you aren’t Kiki’s daughter. You’re Bea’s.”

“I know we’ve talked about that, but do you really think I was influenced more by my grandmother than my mother?”

“In every way.”

“What makes you so certain?”

“If I were to meet you and Kiki at the same time, same place, I wouldn’t guess you are related at all. You’re nothing alike. You don’t look alike, and you certainly don’t act like her.”

“She always seemed like an annoying older sister. One I didn’t have to see very often.”

“What about your father?”

She was swirling the water with her hands again. “He has a good heart, albeit a selfish one.”

“It is good you recognize it for what it is.”

“Kiki was pregnant when they got married. They were engaged for a year, so it wasn’t as though I was the only reason they got married. But sometimes I wonder if she hadn’t been pregnant, if he would’ve gone through with it. From what Gran Bea told me, it wasn’t long after, that his career took off.”

“How many would you want?”

“Children?”

“Yes.”

She shrugged and laughed. “I don’t know.”