With one hand, he brushed my hair from my face. “Kiss me, Rebel.”
I did. Starting with where my mouth rested against his pulse, working my way down the length of his body and then back up again. Finally, my lips met his. Edge grabbed the back of my neck and thrust his tongue in my mouth, kissing me longer, deeper, and harder than he ever had before.
“Fucking amazing,” he whispered, stroking the side of my face with his finger. “You felt it too, right?”
Felt it? My body hummed with it. Every muscle screamed in exhaustion, and yet I wanted more. I doubted I’d ever get enough of Edge, and with that thought, my eyes filled with tears.
20
Edge
I hated that Rebel was crying, but I felt that if I asked her about it, I’d only make it worse. After sex like we’d just experienced, part of me wanted to cry too. It was that good. That mind-blowing. That earth-shattering. That gut-wrenchingly brilliant.
The sun was setting, which meant dinner was over. I’d get no argument about going back to the dining hall. I studied the bruises on her arm where someone had obviously grabbed her. I still wanted answers, and I’d bloody well get them, but not now. First, I had to get her to tell me why she was crying.
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I tried to wait to let her be the first to speak, but the longer she remained silent, the less I could stop myself from giving her comfort. I put my fingertips on her chin and lifted her face so I could see her eyes, even if they were closed. I touched her cheek with the pad of my thumb, wishing I could climb inside her brain, dance around in her head, and know everything that made this little rebel tick.
She was so fierce, so on fire earlier, that I was powerless not to kiss her. Fucking her? Jesus, it was every dream I’d had of her come true. Her body, while slight, felt so goddamn perfect under me. The memory of the look on her exquisite face every time she went crashing into ecstasy made me steel-hard again and again—including now.
But there was so much more. I wanted to know everything about the woman I held in my arms. What little I did know barely scratched the surface, and yet, there was a part of me that felt as though I’d known her forever.
She was passionately independent, but what choice did she have? She was alone in the world. Was. Not any longer. From now on, she had me. I knew in my heart it wouldn’t be easy to convince her she did. She’d fight it. Fight me every step of the way. She’d tell herself she wasn’t good enough for me, when in reality, I didn’t hold a candle to this mesmerizing creature.
“I want to be a part of your life, Rebel,” I blurted.
Her body shuddered. I flipped us both over and rested my elbows above her shoulders. Her eyes were closed, but I could see her. As I told her what I wanted, I’d be able to watch her expression, gauge her fear.
“I’m not going to fall by the wayside.”
She shook her head from side to side; she didn’t believe me.
“Look into my eyes.” It took a while, but finally, she did. “I want to be in your life. Not just today. Not just until we exonerate you. Not just until you think I’ve had my fill of you and you decide it’ll be easier if you leave me first. I’ll still be in your life, sweetness. I’m staying, and I want you to stay too.”
She looked away.
“Tell me you believe me,” I demanded, knowing damn well she didn’t. She wouldn’t lie either. Not now. Not about this. If I could get her to speak, she’d tell me I was crazy. She might even say it wasn’t what she wanted. I longed for her to hand me every argument, just so I could dispute each one.
What she said, though, was the last thing I expected.
Her eyes bored into mine. “I don’t need you, Edge. I know you think I do, but I don’t. Earlier, when you came into the bedroom and I told you I was going to work…a few minutes before that, I woke up. Since the day I was arrested, I’d let myself escape into a trance. It allowed me to keep breathing, keep putting one foot in front of the other, without looking too far into the future.”
She laughed. “I even fantasized that you’d show up and get me out of jail. My fantasy did not involve you posting bail, though, it was more that you broke me out.”
I laughed too, loving the lines etched into her face when she smiled.
“My point is, you don’t have to save me, Edge. I’m capable of saving myself.”
Was that what I really wanted deep down? Was it just about saving her? I didn’t think it was, but it was significant enough of a thought to consider.
“I need you to not do this for me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I need to be an active participant in every facet of my life. It’s the only way I can make it through this and keep the most important parts of myself intact.”
“Explain so I understand better.”