“Go ahead, Rebel. Go inside. Be angry with me. When you’re over it, I’ll still be here.”
“You don’t know me as well as you think.”
“Don’t I?” He stood and walked inside; I followed.
“If you knew me like you think you do, you’d understand why I have to do this.”
He shook his head. “And if you stopped thinking only of yourself for a moment, you’d see that it’s because I do know you that I agreed to something I am fundamentally opposed to.”
When he walked into the room with all the computer monitors and closed the door, I went into the bedroom and grabbed my denim jacket. There was something about wearing my own damn clothes that made me feel like…myself.
Fuck him for saying I was insecure. He had no clue what my life had been like. My mother chose meth over me, and my grandmother died less than a year after I moved in with her and my grandfather, who did the best he could, but he didn’t know dick about raising a girl like me. He sure as hell didn’t know anything about discipline. The worst thing he ever said to me was that he was disappointed in me. In a way, that worked.
Edge and I were different. While I didn’t know much, other than that he was from England, the way he spoke and carried himself made it evident he was in a different class. I guessed his parents were rich. It was probably the reason he didn’t care about money. The only time someone cared about money was when they didn’t have it. I’d admitted he was out of my league. Just because I was smart enough to realize it, didn’t mean I was insecure. Did it?
God, why did his opinion have to matter so goddamn much? I’d always been okay with who I was, where I came from, and what I wanted out of life. Hadn’t I?
Or, did the fact that all I’d wanted was to get out of Barton Creek, any way I could, mean that he was right?
I walked back outside and sat in the chair Edge had been sitting in earlier and thought about the other things he’d said. He could’ve flat out refused to let me talk to anyone, but he didn’t. What he’d been trying to tell me was that he had enough respect for me to do what I’d asked even though he was against it. I’d been too busy thinking only of myself to realize it.
When I went to find him to apologize, I saw him just inside the back door with a woman who had to be Casper. Neither heard me, so I stood and watched as they embraced. Instead of pulling away, he rested his forehead against hers like he’d done with me a couple of times. They were talking too quietly for me to hear what about, and neither was making a move to break away from the other. I couldn’t move without them noticing or hearing me, so instead of trying to sneak off, like I wanted to do more than anything, I cleared my throat.
Casper was the first to break the embrace. Edge motioned for me to come closer.
“Rebel, meet Casper.”
“Nice to meet you.”
She didn’t shake my outstretched hand, in fact, she looked at me with complete disinterest.
“Where’s everyone else?” I asked Edge.
“A few minutes out. Why don’t we wait in here?” He motioned toward the computer room, and with his hand on the small of Casper’s back, he led her inside, expecting me to follow, I guess. Part of me wanted to walk the other way.
She leaned against the desk and tucked her hair back on one side, revealing that beneath the long, dark, almost-black locks, the side of her head was shaved.
She had on a leather jacket but shrugged it off. Underneath, she wore what looked more like a camisole than a top. I inwardly smiled, thinking it was exactly the kind of thing I’d wear. One of her buff arms was covered in lightly colored but elaborate tattoos. Her other arm was bare. She wasn’t as tall as me, but I wouldn’t call her short either. She was compact. Every visible muscle was toned, giving me no reason to think what was beneath her clothes was any different.
Edge’s cell rang and he excused himself. “Be nice,” he muttered as he walked past me and closed the door behind him.
Without that comment, I might have been. Now? No way in hell. “Did you fuck him?”
The disinterested look on Casper’s face left, and she looked me in the eye, maybe for the first time. “I don’t like swearing.”
Wait. What did she just say? “Excuse me?”
“Stop with the swearing, or I’ll walk out of here.”
“Answer my question.”
“That isn’t any of your fucking business.”
“I thought you didn’t like swearing.”
“I don’t like it when other people do it.”
We stood in silence until I couldn’t stand it any longer. “I’m not the kind of person who can sit back and do nothing while my fate is in someone else’s hands.”