He sat down next to her. “Not drunk now.” He pulled her into him, and kissed her. At first he was gentle, his
lips brushing back and forth over hers as his tongue gently pushed its way in. His other hand came up and stroked her face, then moved to her neck. His kiss deepened, as his hand slid down to the buttons on her shirt.
She grabbed his wrist.
“Let me in,” he murmured.
Renie twisted away from him and stood. “I can’t do this.” She wiped her hand across her mouth.
Billy leaned forward and put his head in his hands. He took a few deep breaths. “Okay. We won’t do this, but we have to talk. You’re too important to me not to.”
Renie went into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and closed it. She opened a cupboard, closed it too, and leaned against the counter.
“Whatever answers you’re looking for aren’t in there. Come back out here and talk to me.”
Renie turned the corner and leaned up against the wall.
“Tell me what you’re thinkin’,” he pleaded.
“You know me better than that, Billy.”
“Pretend I’m Pooh.”
She laughed. “Here we go.”
“You think I never noticed your little motor mouth runnin’ when you were out in the pasture with your horse? I would’ve given anything to hear what you were talkin’ to her about.”
Him, always Billy. She’d been in love with him forever, and he’d never thought of her as anything other than a pest. She closed her eyes at the hurt that pounded in her chest. The joy she felt when she saw him was always coupled with the pain of yearning for him. She’d gotten so used to it throbbing in every part of her body. Yearn for Billy—it’s what her body did naturally. Her eyes stayed closed, as she focused on the ache of it.
He tucked her hair behind her ear. “I wish I could read your mind.”
Thank God he couldn’t, she’d never be able to look him in the face again.
“You want me to tell you how I’m feelin’ about all this? About you and me…”
Her brow furrowed, and she bit her upper lip.
“Renie, please.” His fingers caressed her face.
She leaned her head into his hand.
“Go ahead,” he said. “Take a chance, tell me what you’re thinkin’ so hard about.”
She shook her head. “I can’t,” she whispered.
“Come, sit with me.”
Renie let him pull her to the couch. She sat with her back against the arm, and put her feet up, so her legs formed a wall between them. Billy rested his elbow on her knees.
“Some say, in fact, I’ve heard you say it yourself, that I’ve been pitched off one too many broncs.” He shook his head and laughed. “I suppose I act like it often enough. I’m thirty-three years old, and this is the first time I’ve lived in my own place.”
She nodded.
“Out on the road all the time…let’s say there have been women in my life. You know what I’m sayin’?”
She nodded.
Billy took her feet and stretched her legs over his.