“He relied on me to be there for him. He never asked, he expected. And, of course, I was. I wanted to be around as much as I could.”
She looked at Jace, who nodded his head. “Go on.”
“He was the saddle bronc champ year before last.”
“That’s a con?”
“It’s not a pro or a con. It’s just something about him, part of what makes him who he is. Cowboys like him, the good ones, are some of the best men on the planet. They’re honorable and gracious. They know their lives ebb and flow by the luck of the draw of the horse, or the bull. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of skill necessary to get to their level. And with it, there’s an expectation, a code among them, that they’ll have humility. You know, ‘work hard, stay humble.’”
He nodded again.
“You’re one of them too. I don’t know why I’m even telling you this.”
“First, thank you. Second—keep talking about Billy.”
“Doesn’t stop any of you from being cocky, Billy included. I doubt he gave much thought about any of the women he had sex with.”
She rode for a while without saying anything.
“I didn’t believe him at first, about Roxanne. He told me he’d never had a relationship, or a girlfriend, and I didn’t believe him. When we went to Texas, when he found out Willow was his baby, I thought he lied to me.”
“What changed your mind?”
“He did. We argued about it, and I realized he was telling me the truth. I should have known he wouldn’t lie to me about something like that.”
“So we’re back to pros.”
“He’s a good man. I know it in my heart.”
“So where’s your damage comin’ from?”
“What do you mean?”
“There’s something that’s holding you back. Keeping you from taking the next step with Billy. Is it the baby, or is there more to it?”
“That’s what he asks me. I don’t have an answer for you any more than I do for him. Or myself.”
“Without the baby, would you be with him?”
“I don’t know.”
“So…”
“So? What? You’re obviously trying to get me to come to an epiphany, and I’m not seeing it.”
“There is something that’s holding you back from giving in…trusting him.”
They rode another few minutes in silence. Irene was thinking hard on what he said. It seemed so obvious to him, but he wasn’t a shrink. What if he was wrong? He wanted to help her, but there wasn’t a lot he could do or say if she couldn’t see what was so obvious to him. He could lead her to water, he couldn’t make her drink it.
“What about this? Worst-case scenario…you and Billy. What would that look like?”
He hit on something with that question, because now she was crying.
“I can’t.”
“You can. You’ve gone this far. What is it? What’s the worst thing you can imagine happening between you and Billy?”
She didn’t answer him, but it was obvious she’d found her answer. Tears streamed down her cheeks.