Renie turned around to face him. “Kiss me.”
“God, I can feel your heart pounding under my hand,” Billy said. His kiss was hard and raw. “Tonight is the night we started our forever, Renie.”
His body was tight with everything he’d been holding in for so long. All of the emotion he’d felt for the last eight months, the uncertainty of what would happen between them, came flowing out.
He wasn’t gentle, he plundered. He didn’t give, he took. And she was as eager as he was, her passion for him was that of desperate need. She was no longer afraid, there was no fear. When she trembled, it was with longing.
Renie wanted to remember every moment as much as he did. She wanted to wrap it up and keep it in her heart, so when she felt doubt, she could pull it out and blanket herself in it.
She wrapped her body around his, taking what she wanted—tasting, savoring, and lingering.
And then suddenly, everything changed. What was once frantic between them became a slow dance of hands and lips and murmurs. Billy stroked her with his hands, slowly. “I want to own every inch of this body.” He kissed down the side of her arm, then her waist, and down her hip. Her lips began taking their ownership of his body too.
“I’ve got to be inside you, Renie. I need to be. I want to fill you, join with you, never be separated from you.”
“Hurry,” she answered, and again their pace changed. They were lost in each other, delirious as they quivered together.
Billy reached up and held her face in his hands. “You and me, forever—do you promise?”
“Billy,” she whispered, half hoping she wouldn’t wake him. She wanted a few minutes to look at him. They hadn’t talked about when yet, but soon Billy would be her husband. They would spend the rest of their lives together, as friends, as lovers, as soulmates. They would be partners, companions on life’s journey.
Tomorrow their journey would begin, and the first step would be meeting his daughter—the little girl Renie had been so afraid to share him with. She prayed she’d have the strength to let those fears go, and learn to love her without hesitation.
He told her, in all his promises tonight, that he understood. He promised to pay attention to her, to listen, to plan special moments for the two of them. And most importantly, he promised not to leave her.
Her brain told her it was a promise he didn’t have power over, but her heart knew that Billy understood how great that fear was for her. The more they talked about it, gave it words, the more that fear would dissipate.
Her love for him was pure, the essence of who she was. Acknowledging her feelings, rather than burying them, would bring them closer together, instead of driving them apart. She should have trusted Billy would know that. He knew how she felt, he knew what to say, he knew how to comfort her. All those months she’d gone without his comfort, when it was the thing she needed more than air.
Billy was awake and studying her. “You are so lost in thought. In every memory I have of you there is a component of it that involves me wonderin’ what you were thinkin’. There is always somethin’ goin’ through this beautiful head of yours.” He stroked her hair and moved it away from her face. “I want to be the man who gets the rare and special privilege of being the recipient of your thoughts. The one you trust enough to share them with. To get the gift of you. Will you let me be that man?”
“You are that man, Billy. Every thought has been yours, because they are all of you. All my life you have been the voice, the face, the smile in my head. Even when I couldn’t talk to you, I heard you. And I felt you. I never doubted that you loved me. Not ever.”
“We talked about us tonight, Renie. We need to talk about Willow. I need to know how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking.”
“I don’t feel as afraid. I’m not as worried about how I’ll share you with her, because I know there will be a part of you that you keep just for me.”
“Always. There will be a part of me that is for you alone. And if we give Willow brothers and sisters, there will still be a part of me that belongs only to you. In the same way that no matter how many people I have to share you with, I know there is a part of your heart you’ll keep separate for me.”
“You know me so well. You know the perfect thing to say. Don’t you?”
“It isn’t so much that I know what to say, it’s more that I know what to feel. I can feel you. When you’re scared, I feel it. When you’re worried, I feel it.”
She smiled and started to speak. He put his fingers on her lips to silence her.
“That’s how it’s always been for you too, hasn’t it? Even when you were a little girl, you knew how I was feeling.”
“Yes,” she answered simply.
“That’s why I’m grounded when I’m with you, because you do that for me.”
“I do?”
“You do, and I want to be the person who grounds you.”
“We need to talk about Jace, Renie.”
“It isn’t necessary, Billy. We’re—”