‘I’m glad you asked. It’s the first time in our association that you’ve ever asked me how I felt about anything!’
It was a valid point. She never had. Not directly. She hadn’t wanted David to think she was prying. Or demanding. Or nagging in a way he would find an intolerable invasion of his privacy.
Caitlin was suddenly jolted into a reappraisal of her own attitude throughout their relationship. She had let herself be intimidated by the fact that David was so eligible, and so attractive to other women. In trying not to put a foot wrong, had she stultified a natural progression? Had she herself unwittingly drawn restrictions in being too cautious, desperately wanting to please and not to offend? She had certainly taken her cues from him. Had he also taken cues from her?
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, deeply disquieted by her train of thought. ‘I’d like to know when you were lonely.’
‘Most of my life.’
This was so unexpected, it shook Caitlin. She looked her disbelief.
‘Keep your eyes on the road.’
‘Sorry.’
‘The office felt very empty without you, Caitlin,’ he added.
And her future had looked very bleak without him. ‘Why do people fall in love?’ she blurted out, then wished she hadn’t. It was too revealing.
‘It’s a force of nature. One can love. One can hate. There’s not much in between. Perhaps one can learn to be indifferent.’
‘That’s fine,’ she assented quickly. It was about the only thing they had agreed on all day.
‘What position have you adopted, Caitlin?’ He was nothing short of direct.
‘I’m a fast learner,’ she replied. She wasn’t going to make herself vulnerable by spilling out the truth.
They passed Wyong High School. Schoolchildren were spilling out into the streets everywhere. Buses were collecting them as Caitlin negotiated her way through the township. It was probably a good time to arrive. If Michelle had been holding her mother’s hand, she would have left to make sure her six-year-old arrived home safely from school.
Caitlin parked her car in the street outside her parents’ house. ‘This is it,’ she said, nodding to the two-storey brick home that faced the river.
‘Nice position,’ David observed.
‘Not for my dad,’ Caitlin reminded him.
‘I’m coming with you,’ David declared.
Caitlin had an attack of doubt about that course of action. Her mother, in a full flight of temper, could make a fire-eating dragon look tame. David would be meeting her mother for the first time. First impressions might be unfairly off-putting.
‘Maybe it’s better if I go alone.’
‘I promised your dad I’d be with you to the end.’
She wasn’t sure he had promised any such thing at all. ‘Well,’ she said hesitantly, ‘let me do the talking.’
‘It’s your mother,’ he readily acceded.
‘As long as that’s agreed...’ she dubiously surrendered.
They alighted, took the path to the front door. Caitlin rang the bell to alert her mother in case she had visitors, then used her key. Caitlin suspected that her mother wasn’t receiving visitors today.
‘It’s Caitlin, Mum,’ she called as she ushered David into the foyer.
There was a splendid arrangement of red roses on the console table. Tinsel streamers ran from the central light pendant to the walls, pinned by glittery red hearts. The party decorations hadn’t come down yet, which gave Caitlin cause for hope.
She had anticipated correctly. Michelle had left. There were no visitors. Her mother was in the kitchen, chopping carrots with the deadly action of a guillotine slicing off heads. She was clearly in fine fettle. Her opening remarks set the tone of her meeting.
‘Well, Caitlin, I see you’ve finally arrived. What took you so long to get here?’