She paused, taking the time to place her hands aggressively on her hips, stubbornly striking a pose that denied the churning distress that was making jelly of her insides. She could feel her lips trembling and bit them, fighting for more composure before she continued.
'Why do you have to run away from me?' she taunted.
His grimace was all bitter irony.
'Let me make you whole again. Let me help you to walk properly,' she shot at him, desperately seeking to get under his skin. 'I'm not interested in your self-pity! It's the person inside that's important!'
A bleak weariness dragged over Justin St John's face. He was as unshiftable as granite. 'No more, Kelly. Please go. I trust you don't need me to show you to the door,' he said with tired finality.
Kelly's chin lifted in determined defiance. 'There is one last piece of unfinished business left between us.'
The weariness cracked back into ferocity. 'What, for pete's sake? What more can there be between us?' He seemed at the end of his tether and he glowered at her with furious impatience.
The situation couldn't have been worse, Kelly thought despairingly. But he left her no option. This was the bottom line. No loopholes for bargaining. No room to manoeuvre. Not the slightest chance of any softening-up process, or sliding amicably into the subject.
She heaved a resigned sigh and spelled it out. 'The horses that you stopped me from riding are more mine than yours. I can't deny that Henry Lloyd bought them, but he bought them especially for me. I chose them, and worked them, and trained…’
'It was you? You taking the black stallion over the jumps?' His voice sounded half strangled, and all colour drained from his face, leaving it stark with shock.
Kelly hesitated, uncertain what his reaction meant and hopelessly unsettled by it. 'If you saw anyone riding Rasputin over the practice jumps, it would have been me,' she replied tentatively. 'He doesn't respond to anyone else. But that was before you cut me off from having any more to do with the horses. And that was totally unfair. I tried to see you, to talk to you. But then you were trying to get Grandpa off his land and we had to fight that first…'
Justin St John's eyes had closed tight and he was shaking his head as though punch-drunk. 'No,' he groaned. 'I can't… I won't…'
'If you'll please just listen to me…' Kelly begged,
'No!'
The harsh negative rattled in her ears, but Kelly couldn't accept it. 'I promise you I won't get in your way. You won't even see me if you don't want to. I'll take--'
'No! Never!' he yelled at her, angry colour rushing back into his face. His eyes were glazed, fixed with maniacal determination.
'It's not fair on me. Or the horses,' she cried frantically. 'You can't keep them penned up in the stables. They need…'
He banged his hands together in violent rejection. 'They can rot there forever for all I care. If I don't shoot them first!'
The venomous hatred in his voice was like a fist- blow to Kelly's heart. 'You couldn't!' she gasped. 'You wouldn't do that! Those horses are beautiful…truly beautiful!'
Her stricken look seemed to touch him. He appeared totally distracted for a moment. Then he jerked his body into action and started limping towards the doors that led into the foyer.
'Go home, Kelly Hanrahan!' he ordered harshly, and the back that was turned to her was rigid and unyielding. 'There is nothing you can say-no words, no sentiments, no pleading that you can think of-that can persuade me to change my mind. As long as those horses are in my keeping, you will never ride them again!'
Desperation drove Kelly after him. She grabbed his arm, halting his progress. He tried to tear it out of her grasp, but she clung on, forcing him to listen to her. 'You can't mean that!' she begged. 'I've been jumping them for years. It's my life…'
'It was Noni Lloyd's death!' he retorted, his eyes blazing at her in wild, impassioned accusation. 'Doesn't that mean anything to you?'
'It was an accident!' Kelly blazed back at him. 'If Noni had been given a second chance, she would have gone on and…'
He grabbed her upper arms and shook her. 'There was no second chance for Noni! You have your life! Be content with that,' he hissed at her through clenched teeth. 'And there's more to life than show-jumping!'
Tears welled into Kelly's eyes and she was helpless to stop them from trickling down her cheeks. 'It's all I want to do,' she sobbed. 'All I ever wanted…'
'Kelly, I'm sorry.' It was an anguished sigh, and without another word he gathered her into a gentle embrace and softly pressed her head on to his shoulder.
Kelly's heart raced with exultant triumph. He was going to give in. He really liked her. And wanted her. She would talk him around to a sympathetic understanding. They could be together. Learn everything about each other.
She savoured the wonderful thoughts as he rubbed his cheek across her hair and relished the warmth and strength of him as he heaved another deep sigh.
'I'm sorry,' he repeated heavily. 'But I can't let you have it, Kelly. Anything, but not that. Not that! If I have to destroy the horses to keep you from them, I will.'