Lost In Us (Lost 1)

"I've got my tricks," Parker says and winks.

“I’m Sophie.” She waves, giggling.

It takes me a second to realize what's going on. She doesn't remember me. Small wonder, given the drunken state she was in when we met. The tiniest bit of relief springs in my heart that this will be a bit less humiliating, even though not less painful. I'll be eternally grateful to Parker for playing it up.

"James, you don't mind if I join you in the office a bit later?" he says, putting one arm on my shoulders. "I promised breakfast."

"Don't be a prick, James," Sophie says when James doesn't answer. "Let the two of them go." When he still doesn't answer, she raises her eyebrows and adds, "I'm taking a shower," then disappears from the living room.

"Can you give us a moment, Parker?" His voice carves raw wounds inside me.

"That's not necessary," I say, finally lowering my arms from their twisted position at my back. James's gaze freezes on the coffee cups. "No, Parker—" I plead.

"You two need to talk, Serena," he says firmly and then walks out the front door.

"I didn't know you were coming," James says, still staring at the coffee cups.

"That's obvious," I answer sardonically. "I wanted to surprise you. But you beat me to it."

"I—"

"No, you know what? Don't say anything. I'm going to leave now and for the sake of my own sanity, pretend I never met you."

"You want to stop seeing me?" he says, shell-shock contouring on every pore of his face.

"No. I want to stick around and find a new bitch in your bed every morning." I don't know when my pain transformed into anger, but I welcome the change. Being angry is so much better than being in pain.

"I never meant for you to walk in and witness something like this, but Serena," he says in a low voice, walking toward me, "I was honest with you from the beginning…"

"I know. But seeing you with other women…" I pause to find the word that would sound least dramatic, "…bothers me." I make a go for the door but he puts an arm around my waist.

"You didn't seem too happy yesterday when you thought I was going out with someone," I say angrily.

"Don't go," he pleads in my ear. "We can find an arrangement that works for you. I don't want to stop seeing you. I don't."

His lips are so close to me now, his blue eyes peering into mine. I think I see somewhere behind their infinite blue the same desperation that churns inside me. I was right, it was fake. All of it. Yet as I stand here, one word away from shattering altogether, I can't help asking for one last chance to make it real.

"I doubt we can, unless that arrangement includes you not seeing anyone but me."

He doesn't need any words to shatter me. The stone silence and the sudden coldness in his eyes do the same cruel job.

Still, I keep hoping, I keep waiting.

But they don't come. The only words that would keep me from leaving. He doesn't object when I remove his hand from my waist and walk past him. He doesn't come after me when I put the coffee cups on the table besides the entrance and open the front door.

So I walk out, without a word or a look back.

Parker unhitches himself from the wall when he sees me. "That didn't go too well, huh?"

"I just want to get out of here," I whisper, and run toward the elevator, fighting hard to hold back my tears. To my relief, the doors open the second I press the button and I slide in. So does Parker.

"I meant what I said about that breakfast."

"No offense, but I want to be alone right now."

"You don't look like you should be on your own," he says softly.

"Parker, please… I…" A sob escapes my lips and I look away from him.