Lost In Us (Lost 1)

Ralph opens his mouth, but instead of another provocation, he simply says, "James."

I jump to my feet and swirl around. Then I'm positive my heart stops for a few seconds.

James doesn't look like himself. He's got dark circles under his eyes and his skin is so pale, it's scary. A vein twitches in his neck. The faintest smile forms across his lips as he gazes at me. My heart starts back up. When he smiles, he looks like the James I know again.

"I'm grateful you've come here Serena." Then he looks at Ralp

h and his voice is sharp when he speaks. "Ralph, I remember telling you—"

"James, I'm doing you a favor, so don't even think of playing the boss with me."

"Has he been holding you back?" James asks me seriously.

"What? No. We've been in front of the computer for two whole hours and nothing."

James tenses up at the word nothing. "Well, we've got two more left, and then it'll be over either way." He's still smiling, but in an ironic way. It gives me chills.

"What do you mean?" I ask, my heart pounding like mad.

"That's the investors’ deadline. They're pulling back all their support and investment if it's not fixed."

"But that's insane. Why—"

I stop mid-sentence. I know why. This is how Silicon Valley works. This is why I never wanted to enter this world that uses sweat as currency and exhaustion as fuel, to create a world that can crumble in an instant.

"I need coffee," Ralph says, rising from his seat. He swings an arm over my shoulders, leaning into me. I bite my tongue to keep myself from grimacing as a pungent stink emanates from his underarm. "Do you think you can convince the boss not to kill me if I go on a coffee break?"

My eyes dart to James in a fraction of a second, and I know the boss would like nothing better than to punch Ralph. His tightened fists aren't the only indication of this. His eyes, fixed on Ralph's arm, have that glint that I've seen enough times by now to know exactly what it means. It's as unsettling as it was under that tree next to the auditorium when he thought I was seeing someone else, and in the club when Jason was hitting on me, or when he asked if I'd heard from Michael back when we were at Royal Garden.

It filled me with dread on both of those occasions, but it does something different now. It feels me with hope, to see that he's still jealous. That he still thinks of me as his. Maybe, just maybe, he still thinks of himself as mine too. Only mine. Perhaps he hasn't kissed other lips.

Ralph is oblivious to all of this. He scans the room as if hoping a fountain of coffee will pop up from the ground.

"I need coffee too. I think everyone needs some," I say, not because I want to side with Ralph, but because I genuinely don't think anyone in this room can work two more minutes, let alone two more hours, if they don't get caffeine in their system. I unhitch Ralph's arms from my shoulders. The smell of him nauseates me.

"I know," James says, his fists loose now. "That's why I ordered coffee for everyone."

As if on cue, I hear a ping from the other side of the room. The elevator doors open and two women appear, one in her forties and one who doesn't look older than me, pushing coffee carts with plastic cups inside the room. I realize now that I could only hear the ping because the chatter in the room has dropped to an almost non-existent level. And while two hours ago, I would've given everything for silence, now I know it's a sign that everyone is truly exhausted.

And so does James.

"Excellent timing," I say, as Ralph darts in the direction of the coffee cart.

James links his gaze to mine, and his next words turn all my limbs into something that has the consistency of melting ice cream. "Smile for me."

The corner of my lips instantly lift into a smile.

He smiles as well, then turns to face the room. "Everyone, coffee is here," James says loudly. "Fill up, and please get back to work. There is just under two hours left and I have full confidence that someone in this room of amazing people will find the bug." The desperation that pierced his voice a few minutes ago isn't there anymore. His voice is energetic, lively. Inspiring even. "And then we can all go celebrate at Wellstone's. My treat."

There are a few appreciative whistles and some applause. Wellstone's is one of the most expensive places around. I head along with every person in the room toward the coffee cart. I wait patiently in the long line that forms in front of it. One glance around the room reveals that not everyone is in the line. James and Parker are seated at their desks, eyes fixed on their computer screens.

When I finally do manage to get my hands on a cup of steamy coffee, I start looking for Ralph. I find him in front of the elevator, an arm swung around the shoulders of a tall woman with red hair. Ralph's holding a cup of coffee in one hand—the one around her shoulders—and a pack of cigarettes in the other one.

"Ralph, I hope you're not thinking of sneaking outside to smoke. There's no time for that."

Ralph turns around in an instant, and the redhead steps away from him, looking relieved. Judging by the youthful roundness of her face and the nervous way she glances around her, as if expecting someone to reprimand her for her behavior, she must be an intern.

"Ana here and I were just going for a quick smoke."