Lost In Us (Lost 1)

Parker opens the glass door and I step inside. It immediately becomes apparent that our group occupies the entire place. The place is posh, all right. I haven't been here before, but I saw it in one of Jess's magazines. It looks as sleek as it did in the photographs—the white marble floor, simple wooden tables, and violet-cushioned chairs give the place a very royal air. The only difference from the photographs is that the small tables aren't scattered around, but arranged in four long tables, two at the front and two at the back. It's a tad too chilly, thanks to the air conditioning. But it smells heavenly. Of coffee, sugar, and cinnamon. There is a glass of untouched champagne in front of everyone. I look for empty chairs and find a few at the second table on the right. I quickly locate Ralph a few seats away, with Ana next to him, who couldn't look unhappie

r. I decide to search for a chair at another table. With a jolt in my heart, I spot two empty seats elsewhere: one next to James, one in front of him. Parker elbows me, nodding in James's direction.

Parker starts toward the seat opposite James, but I whisk in front of him, walking to that seat with a determined strides. Parker shakes his head slightly then proceeds to sit next to James. I couldn't bear sitting next to James the entire time. But sitting in front of him isn't much better. He fixes me with his gaze the second I slump in my seat. I pretend not to notice, smiling at my neighbors as I introduce myself to them—Nadine, to my left and Tom, to my right. But I can feel James's gaze on me, and I wonder if he's going to keep this game going the entire time we're here. My cheeks are burning already. I don't want my whole body to be ablaze by the time we leave this place.

"So you were waiting for us to toast?" Parker says, raising the glass of champagne in front of him.

"Exactly," James answers, not taking his eyes off me. I raise my glass too. Relief floods me when James rises from his seat. "Everyone, thank you a lot for all your effort last night. It was really more than I could ask of anyone. Special thanks goes to our hero, David," he points his glass to the table at the back where Ralph sits. The black-haired guy with glasses who found the bug is there too, blushing furiously as everyone starts to applaud.

"I need to order something to eat, like, right now," Parker says, and snatches one leather-bound menu from the heaps of menus at the center of the table. I follow suit, and in the next half an hour or so everyone is busy ordering and then devouring their order. I finish my chocolate pancakes in record time then drink an elephant-sized cup of coffee.

I skillfully avoid even glancing in James's direction this entire time, and thankfully, once he starts talking to other people, his gaze drifts from me. I listen to Nadine's story of her job search, which sounds a lot like mine, the only difference being that she's looking for a job as a programmer. Lots of applications, dismal performances in interviews; it's nice to know I'm not the only one with a chronic inability to bullshit my way through interviews. I tell her she will find a job eventually, that if it all worked out for me, then for sure it will work out for her. Parker overhears us and tells her they are looking for interns, and her helping them out last night more than qualifies her for the internship. Nadine's eyes lighten up so brightly I think she might kiss Parker out of sheer joy and relief.

"So, Serena," Parker says to me, "I never got to congratulate you on your job offer in San Francisco."

I blush. Parker would know all about the nightmare that has been my job search. I drove him crazy all those days he wandered around with me after Jess got out of the hospital and we found out the mess she was in.

"What happened with your interview in New York?" he asks. "Did you hear back?"

I bite my lip. I didn't want to say anything about New York, but now that he brought it up I can't downright lie to him. I peek at James, who's discussing something with my other neighbor, Tom, and gesticulating energetically. But I know he's paying attention to what Parker and I are saying. "I've actually gotten a job offer in New York." Since I'm going down the path of truth, I might as well spit everything out. "I'm flying there tonight, and will look at apartments tomorrow."

James's arms freeze in the air for a second, and he breaks off mid-sentence. Then he starts talking to Tom again, as if nothing happened.

Parker looks crestfallen, his mouth hanging slightly open. "So you accepted the job offer?" I can understand his confusion, since I always claimed I applied everywhere to keep my options open, but that I really want to stay in San Francisco.

“Yes.”

James drops all pretense of not eavesdropping on our conversation. "I thought you wanted to work in San Francisco." His voice drips with accusation.

"I did."

"So why the sudden change now?" James asks.

"Nothing beats having a Wall Street bank on my CV," I say weakly.

Not that it's not true. I knew that all along when I sent applications, but I also knew that Wall Street banks were so competitive, I never thought I'd get in. Still, I know that that's not the only reason I accepted the job. And I think James knows it too.

"You are right, Parker," James says in a glacial tone that rips through me. "Congratulations are in order. Should we order another glass of champagne?"

"That won't be necessary," I say quickly.

His eyes don't match the cold tone. Something else lingers behind the blue in them. Something worse. Hurt. So deep and so intense that it smolders its way into me, enveloping me in a veil woven of guilt and regret.

"I propose that we finish off our breakfast and then go get some sleep," Parker jumps in, looking wearily from James to me. "I already told everyone from the office they can take the day off."

James scoffs, then his lips curl into a grin as he turns to Parker, breaking off eye contact. I let out a breath of relief; I hadn't even realized I was holding in my breath. I lower my gaze to my empty plate, tracing the contour where my pancake was with my fork.

"And I already told them that sleep is overvalued," James says. "I organized an outdoor day for the entire team and everyone else who helped."

"Oh," Parker says in surprise. "But everyone is so tired."

On my left and right, both Nadine and David sit up straight. I have a hunch they, too, think that sleep is overrated.

James grins. "Trust me, what I planned will shake them up for sure." He stands up and clears his throat. "Everyone, listen up. Two buses will arrive in about ten minutes. If you're up for some well-deserved fun, make sure you get on one." His voice vibrates with excitement and the promise of an adventure. I'm tempted to look up and check whether his eyes glint with the same excitement, but I'm afraid the flare of pain still lingers in them. It didn't look like the kind of pain that can be wiped out by the mere prospect of mindless fun.

"Hell yeah," someone chants and others cheer as well.

"I hope they hire me after the internship. They sound like so much fun to work with," Nadine whispers only for me to hear, and I launch into another discussion about jobs with her, glad to have a legitimate excuse to avoid looking at James. No one asks James where the buses will take them or what the plan for the day is as they down the last drops of coffee and gobble the few bites of breakfast left on their plates. The promise of fun seems enough for them to want to go. If I'm honest, even I would want to go. But I know better. The buses arrive shortly afterward, pulling in front of the restaurant.