“Have you thought about the annulment? I can still make it happen.”
Say no. Say no.
Just the thought of her saying yes made me feel as if the rug had been swept from under me and I’d plowed face-first into a wall.
“The annulment,” she repeated.
I straightened in my seat, nodding. “Yes. I can ask my lawyers to have everything ready by the time we land.”
“Is this what you want?”
No. A million times no.
Since we decided to go through with this, all I’ve wanted was to keep Josie, and that feeling had intensified after the honeymoon. But I needed to at least attempt to do the right thing.
“This isn’t about me. It’s about you feeling comfortable. I’ll deal with the fallout. I don’t want you to feel pressured. Josie, I swear I’ll understand if you want to get that annulment. Nothing will change between us.”
“I said I’d help. I’m not going back on my word,” she snapped.
Instead of feeling relieved that she didn’t want an annulment, I was even more unsettled than before, because somehow things were worse between us than before we had this conversation.
She placed headphones over her ears, pulling up a movie on the screen.
When we arrived at the house, there was still tension between us. It wasn’t my style to ignore a problem or tiptoe around it, so after dinner, I cornered her in the kitchen. She was making tea for herself. I stood right beside her.
“Josie, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“You’ve been snappy with me ever since we talked about the annulment. If that’s what you want, say it. I don’t want you to keep doing this just because you gave me your word. That’s a bullshit reason to do anything.”
Her eyes flashed. “Keeping a promise is bullshit?”
“That’s not what I mean. Going through with something difficult just because you gave your word is... necessary sometimes, but not with us. You’re mad at me.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Why do you think?”
“I have no clue, or I wouldn’t be asking you.”
She was pissed, but so was I. I didn’t like guessing games.
“You brought up the annulment as if... as if it was nothing.”
She blew out a breath, blinking fast. It occurred to me that she wasn’t playing games. She just didn’t know how I felt. Probably thought the annulment didn’t matter to me either way.
“Look at me.” My voice was determined, but she kept staring over my shoulder. “Josie...”
She sucked in a breath when I touched her jaw, tilting her head until we had eye contact.
“It’s not nothing. I don’t know what I’d d
o if you said yes, because I need you. I want you.”
She sucked in a breath. Her eyes were searching me, uncertain. I wanted to erase any doubt. I cupped her head with both hands, pressing her in that corner, between the counter and the wall.