“No, you’re not. Don’t shut me out.”
“I said, I’m fine.”
“Right, that’s why you ran yourself into the ground. Forgive me for intruding in... whatever this is and worrying about you. Clearly, you have it under control and don’t need me.”
She spun around, leaving the room. I clasped the bottle so tightly that the plastic gave in.
Jesus, I was an idiot. She’d stood here for forty minutes, ready to hand me water, to listen to me, to just watch me in case I needed something—because she was worried for me. And I shut her out.
Josie deserved better than this, and I needed to find it in myself to give her exactly what she deserved. I just didn’t know how. I’d never been one to pour my heart out to anyone, or to voice my inner turmoil.
Ever since I was fifteen, I’d sucked it up and done what had to be done, rarely stopping for any introspection—the exception being Dad’s birthday—and never talking about it. It wasn’t that I wanted to forget about everything—I didn’t. I cherished Dad’s memory, and I understood that life sometimes handed you curveballs—I just chose not to linger too much on them.
Taking in a deep breath, I walked after her. She’d gone straight to the bedroom and had closed the door behind her.
She’d locked it. What the...? Did she not want me to come in tonight?
I knocked twice. “Josie, I’m sorry. I want to talk.”
“Why? To keep telling me you’re okay? I don’t feel like going around in circles.”
“Please open the door.”
I waited, holding my breath, only exhaling once I heard footsteps approaching.
She was eyeing me suspiciously when she opened the door. I walked inside, pacing the room before finally sitting at the edge of the bed, resting my forearms on my thighs, staring at the floor.
“I’m sorry for reacting like that. I.... You’re right, I’m not fine. I mean, there’s nothing wrong... it’s just an emotional day. It’s Dad’s birthday. That’s why I start the charity season on this date.”
“Oh!”
“So, it’s always a tough day for me.”
“I’m sorry, Hunter.”
She came closer. I snapped my gaze up when she stood right in front of me.
Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around her middle, pressing my forehead against her stomach. The contact calmed me like nothing else.
I’d never felt a calm so deep, so natural, on his anniversary. Josie was everything I needed.
“It’s normal to miss him, Hunter,” she said softly.
“After so many years?”
“Yes. And missing him doesn’t mean you’re not strong. It mean
s that you care about him. I’m sure he’s proud of you. I’m proud of you. Not because of everything you’ve built and achieved, but because you’re an amazing man.”
I pulled her in my lap, cupping the back of her head, kissing her hard and deep. I was insatiable. I wanted to bury myself in this woman who not only accepted all parts of me but made me accept them too.
I didn’t want anyone else by my side, ever. I couldn’t even imagine it. I wanted Josie in my future with an intensity I’d never wanted anything else.
“Fuck, I want you. I need you, Josie. But I should shower first.”
She wrinkled her nose playfully. “Wouldn’t hurt. You are a bit stinky.”
“Am I now?”