that help?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never really had anyone to talk to.”
“It’s your call.”
“When doctors say it’s part of the job... they don’t really mean it. I suspect it’s just a way to stop people from asking more questions. At least, that’s what I usually say when people ask about it. It affects me, but I’ve learned to live with it. I try to remember how many people walk out healthy, and... I don’t know. It gets to me every time. I don’t always cry. I’ve never actually seen other colleagues in tears, except the occasional intern who is just starting out. It’s the only time I question if I’m cut out for this.”
“You’re a sensitive person, Laney. And you’ve been through a lot. It doesn’t mean you’re not strong. You feel everything intensely.” His voice was soft, and so were his eyes.
“Thanks for saying that.”
“I mean it. I like that about you. You’re not afraid to feel things.”
Swallowing hard, I whispered, “I am afraid of some feelings.”
“That’s understandable.”
I nodded, smiling. His words were just what I needed to hear. The confirmation I craved that being upset didn’t mean I wasn’t cut out for the job. I was allowed to feel down, even as a doctor. Being afraid didn’t mean I was a coward.
I trailed my fingers up his thigh, then up his chest, drawing my middle finger in small circles around every button. When I looked up, I simmered at the unabashed heat in his eyes.
“Why don’t you sit next to me?” I asked.
“The lady needs a different angle to fondle me?”
I batted my eyelashes. “Exactly. Dirty minds think alike. In fact, why don’t you lie down? Your couch is wide enough for me to lie next to you. Unless that doesn’t fit your spontaneous nonplans?”
“I’m adaptable. I can endure this hardship. You can also climb on top of me. You’d have both hands free to grope me.”
“Now that’s an offer I can’t refuse.”
I laughed as Cole slid into a lying position. I was lying next to him, straddling him with one leg. My mouth was inches away from his. Lifting his head, he kissed me, deep and hot. I moved on top of him completely, needing more body contact.
Holding the back of my head with one hand, he deepened the kiss until my toes were curling. He moved his other hand down my back, grabbing my ass, pushing me into him. I saw stars behind my eyelids, moaning in his mouth when I felt how hard he was. I drenched my panties that very second. When we paused to breathe, I realized that I was shaking for real.
“The real reason you wanted me on top was so you had free range to grope me.” I’d meant to tease him, but my voice was shaky.
“Fuck, yes.”
His voice was even shakier than mine, and raw. It sent tendrils of heat right down my center. I initiated our next kiss, tugging at his lower lip, before focusing on the next one. Cole took over the next second. This kiss was even deeper than the one before, and infinitely hotter.
Kissing him was like learning to breathe again. Touching him made me feel alive in a way I’d never experienced before. I needed more of everything. I wanted Cole—all of him.
“Laney, baby. Wait. Pause.” He gripped the back of the sofa so tight that I wondered if he wasn’t tearing the fabric away. “We said we’ll take it slow.”
“I know, but—”
“I can just go take a cold shower.”
“Cole, I want you. This.”
“Are you sure? I can be patient. I can wait. You’ve had a rough day, and you’re vulnerable.”
He was gripping the couch now with both hands. His chest was shaking with the effort of not touching me.
“I know what I want. You.”
The glint in his eyes turned feral, as if he’d just kept the passion inside him at bay until now and he was finally setting it free. He brought both hands to my face, pulling my mouth close to his.