Translation: you don’t have a choice.
“I’ll go. Thanks for giving me this out.” I felt as if someone else was speaking the words and I was merely a puppet, moving my lips.
I really did appreciate it. I just didn’t want it. I knew that most bosses would cut their losses and just let me go, but Cameron was being more than fair. I hated that I’d disappointed him. I’d only met him a few years ago, but he meant a lot more to me than a mentor. He’d looked out for me from the very beginning, and still was. And I’d gone and disappointed him, and now the only way for me to keep my job was to relocate to Houston.
Usually, I’d jump up and down for such an opportunity, especially because it was for a limited time. I could fly back every other weekend to be with my family and wouldn’t miss out on too many shenanigans. But that was before Reid.
“When do you want me to start?”
“As soon as possible. Annalise opened up shop last month, but honestly, she can use all the help she can get.”
I rubbed my palms over my skirt, then caught myself, forced myself to remain calm.
“Okay, well... umm, I’ll make the necessary arrangements.”
“Sure. Just don’t take too much time.”
I left his office on shaky legs, feeling as if the walls of the building were closing in on me. I made it to my desk and plopped down into my chair before realizing I couldn’t possibly sit there for the rest of the day. The agency had been a source of joy for me ever since I returned to LA, but now I was suffocating.
I took out a piece of paper and opened the app on my phone for my savings account, running the numbers, double-checking if I had enough to pay the mortgage and take an unpaid leave. It was impossible, and my gut was telling me that this wasn’t the way to go anyway. What if Cameron needed me to stay on the sidelines for longer? What if...?
I couldn’t think. I could barely breathe. I needed to get out, and I needed to stop panicking. I threw my phone in my tote, grabbed my laptop, and headed out.
How did it come to this? Why hadn’t I thought about this scenario? How was I supposed to fix it? I was so frustrated with myself, and so damn afraid that everything I’d worked for would just be for nothing. I’d finally found my place, finally found a career that made me excited to go to work every morning, and now... now I’d gone and sabotaged all of it.
I went for a walk through Griffith Park, hoping to clear my mind, to rationalize everything. But I couldn’t. I felt this odd ball of anxiety in my stomach, spreading everywhere, until I felt as if I had needles stuck into every inch of my body. I wished Reid was with me. He had this wonderful way of making me feel as if together, we could fix whatever was wrong. And even if it couldn’t be fixed, I wanted those strong arms wrapped around me, wanted to lose myself in him.
I was just wondering if his meeting was over when my phone vibrated. I smiled for the first time today when I noticed the name on the screen: Reid.
Had he felt that I’d been thinking about him? That I needed him?
“Hey,” I greeted. “I was just thinking about you. How did your meeting go?”
“It was a bust. On the bright side, I’m already entering LA.”
“That was fast.”
“You sound beat.”
“That’s exactly how I feel.”
“What happened?”
It warmed my heart to feel him so worried for me.
“Do you have time for a late lunch?”
“Yes, I’m free,” he said instantly.
“You didn’t even check your schedule.”
“Babe, I don’t give a fuck about the schedule. Where do you want me to meet you?”
I gave him the address of a nearby coffee shop.
“I’ll be there in half an hour.”
I felt so much better after hanging up. As if nothing was as bad as it seemed, because Reid was in my corner. My man didn’t give a fuck about anything else on his schedule. Was I lucky or what?