“So can I.”
“So, what do you say? Willing to take this very bad deal?”
“Oh stop, Blake. You know you’re doing me a huge favor. I’ll be out of your hair as soon as possible. I promise I won’t impose while I’m here.”
“You won’t impose, Clara.”
“Wait until you have a lady overnight and she realizes you’re almost house-sharing with a woman. That won’t go over too well.”
He jerks his head back, clearly not having considered this. “Don’t worry about that. You’re a friend. Practically family. Anyone who has a problem with that isn’t welcome in my home.”
His words touch me deeply, make me feel important. I’m unbelievably lucky to have him and his family in my life. I try not to think too closely about his future overnight guests. He’s not dating anyone, which is why he went alone to the wedding, but during our numerous girls-only outings, Pippa and Summer let slip that Blake enjoys... variety. As he should, considering he’s twenty-nine and sinfully attractive.
“What about you?” he asks. “Do you date much?”
“I try, but I keep meeting men who want different things than I do. They’re looking for fun or just hanging out in a friends-with-benefits sort of way.”
“What are you looking for?”
“I want a family, so someone nice and dependable. Someone safe and not argumentative. Trustworthy. I know some people think safe is boring, but I don’t think that at all. I think it’s just…safe.”
“Clara, relax. You don’t have to defend your choices.” His eyes search me for a brief moment before he adds, “I mean, starting a family right now is the last thing I’d want, but...I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone speak so openly and honestly about what they want.”
I’ve never voiced these thoughts, and now that I have, I suddenly feel very vulnerable, which I hope to mask with a joke.
“Well, I am
one-and-a-half-years older than you. Wait until you hit the thirty mark—hormones go haywire, though it might have something to do with being a woman. Biological clock and all that. Anyway, don’t worry about any sexy nocturnal activities on my side of the wall. I don’t plan for any until I’m with someone who at least seems to want the same things. Speaking of...nocturnal activities, can you give me heads-up when you plan to bring someone home? Not to pry, but I have to know if I should have ear plugs on hand... that’s a fake wall between our bedrooms and bathrooms. Can’t be too soundproof.”
Shit! If I were any more transparent in my prying efforts, you could see right through me. Placing the glass on the counter, he leans into me slightly. Not in an intrusive manner, but close enough to make me wish simultaneously that he’d step back and lean in closer. I’m officially losing my mind.
“We’ll figure this out as we go. We’ll improvise.”
He steps away from me. Thank heavens for small mercies. I nod wordlessly. What is there to say? The man is right, and I’m great at improvising. Seeing how most of my life has been a big improv all in itself, I’m a pro at it. I don’t know why I’m getting all up in arms about this.
“Okay. Just...as I said, I don’t want to impose.”
“That’s a terrible word. I don’t want to hear it again.”
“I’ll make a mental note. Anyway, no need to worry. I won’t walk in on you romancing anyone on the balcony. I know how to be invisible when the situation requires it.”
***
Blake
She almost shrinks into herself, and I instantly see red at the thought that others made her feel small or wish she’d be invisible. My first instinct is to ask who made her feel that way and make them pay, but I don’t see how that would make this any better. So, I follow my second instinct—reassuring her that I won’t ever make her feel small.
I close the distance to her, placing my hands on her shoulders, pressing one thumb at the base of her neck. Her pulse is erratic.
“I want you here, Clara. I wouldn’t have offered this place otherwise.”
“Okay.”
I value my privacy, which is why I didn’t rent out this apartment, not even to friends.
For the longest time, I had zero hesitation about letting people in my life. I’m a very sociable person; I like being surrounded by a crowd. The more, the merrier. Making friends has always come easy for me. It took me a long while to realize some people just hung around because I provided them with luxuries—free vacations, free everything. I was young when my family came into money, which had positives and negatives. I had everything I needed and wanted, but I also didn’t learn the value of caution or mistrust. It took many mishaps for me to realize some people only stuck around for what I gave them, and when that wasn’t enough, they showed their ugly side.
So now I’m more cautious, but Clara is one of the few people I feel comfortable around. I can be myself with her, just like with my family. She’s fun, smart, and no one who openly admits that what she wants most is a family can have a mean or traitorous bone in their body.