I back off, drawing a few deep breaths. "Okay, I’m being ridiculous. You are right, of course. It's dangerous to run on my own when there might be a jaguar around. But we have to be reasonable. I went by myself into the forest countless times when your back was hurting, and nothing happened."
"We had no other choice. Maybe you got lucky. At any rate, this is a risk we can't take. We'll coordinate everything so we waste as little time as possible. When you search for fruit, I can look for poisonous plants or eggs."
"All right," I say, still unsatisfied. Tristan puts his hand under my chin, raising it. His touch sends an electric jolt through me, making my entire body heat up. Whether it's the heated discussion or another kind of heat, I don't want to know, but I take a step back just the same.
"The only way I'm going to allow you to go off on your own is if you learn to shoot straight," he says, and the determination in his eyes is almost unsettling. Nodding toward the tree with the target he says, "The bow and arrows are there. Practice until our meal is ready."
I groan, but do as he says. He's right. I need to be able to defend myself. I need to get better at this. My resolution starts to dissolve twelve arrows into my practice. No more than one has hit the target. I can hardly concentrate on shooting, and every time I stare at the target for longer than a few seconds, I get dizzy. So maybe going into the forest today to climb trees in search for eggs and fruit wouldn't have been such a good idea, jaguars aside. The fact that I slept even less than usual is blurring my vision and diminishing my focus. That can mean the difference between stepping on the right branch or the wrong one and falling from the tree, since the nests are on the higher branches.
"Your stance is wrong again," Tristan says from behind me.
"Argh," I exclaim. "Damn it, Tristan. Announce yourself, will you? I don't need a heart attack."
"Sorry, didn't want to scare you." Putting his hand on my belly, he says, "You don't have any pressure here."
"I… I know, it's just…" I take a deep breath, trying hard not to acknowledge how his touch affects me. What the hell is it with me today? He's touched me like this dozens of times before, and he was the one who seemed affected by it. Not me.
"I can't concentrate."
"You didn't rest last night; I knew it."
Time to lie again. "No, it's not that. I just… I'm not good at it."
Tristan looks unconvinced, but doesn't insist. "Let's eat. You can practice afterward."
But I manage to skip another training session after the meal, because we decide to go together searching for eggs and fruit and wood. I let Tristan do the climbing, and I stick to collecting wood, since it requires least attention. By the time we are back it's too dark to do anything except take a shower—after Tristan checks the water basket for any unwanted guests. While he showers I go to inspect the paw print. I hold a torch close to the ground until I find it. And then I wish I hadn't. It's enormous. How big is this beast? The hair at the back of my neck stands on end as I try to imagine it. Tristan joins me when he gets out of the shower.
"Scary, isn't it?"
"By all means. Why did it come here?"
"Hard to say." He shrugs. "Maybe it's just lost or…"
"Or what?"
"Maybe it's a jaguar inspecting this place to see if it’s suitable to become its territory."
"Could there be more of them?"
"Nah… jaguars are solitary creatures. They don't run in packs. Of course, if it's a female with cubs, and the cubs are bigger than cute kittens, we'd have a small pack on our hands."
"What would happen then?"
His expression darkens. "We'd have to leave immediately."
"But you said that was something you'd consider only as a last resort." My knees turn weak. "The forest is still underwater."
"That is a last resort. No amount of arrows, even poisoned ones, will help if more jaguars come. We'd starve hiding inside the plane, and we wouldn't be able to come out."
"I'd rather die from lack of food than become food."
"I'll take care of you, Aimee. I promise. Let's go inside now; it's too dark." Without warning, he puts his arms around me in a tender embrace. From the plethora of feelings striking me in this moment—heat, guilt, confusion—most powerful is the feeling that I belong here in his arms.
I feel at home in them.
We stay like this for a long time, and then we head toward the plane.
As I climb the airstairs I ask him, "The odds of a female with cubs isn’t that great, is it?"