Dad Bod (Under Construction 1)

“B-but, b-but, Daddy. Cupcakes make me happy. And I can’t be healthy if I’m not happy,” she argues as I wrestle the cupcakes from her grip and place them on a higher shelf.

“Here, help Daddy find this quinoa.”

“How am I supposed to do that? I don’t know what it is!” She has a point. I don’t even know what the hell it is.

“Then stand still and be patient please, and I’ll find you a treat before we leave.” I turn and crouch in front of the shelf, scanning the label of every product. I look up and around me to find Belle dancing about, swinging on the buggy.

“Belle, please, can you stand still while I search for whatever in the fu— fudge quinoa is.”

“Daddy, you better watch your mouth. You’ll owe me five dollas!” Belle chides as she comes to a halt from running circles around the buggy.

I left the gym with a renewed confidence. Today’s workout was refreshing, and Jordan has every aspect of this new lifestyle change planned out to a T. Or so it seems. I picked Belle up from Carter and Laney’s and hurried over to Publix to grab groceries from the shopping list Jordan suggested. She’s really got everything covered, and I couldn’t be more relieved. I’ll clean the fridge out after we get home. If we get there.

Currently, I’m standing in the organic food aisle, Belle running circles around the buggy and belting out the lyrics to some annoying song by JoJo Siwa.

I look to the Heavens for help, but I doubt there will be any.

“Did Carter jack you up on Mountain Dew and Reese’s cups or something?”

“Nope,” she pants, twirling down the aisle. “Red Bull and chocolate cake.”

I’ll kill him.

I turn my attention back to the shopping list on my phone then scan the shelf again for quinoa. What in the ever-lovin’ fuck is quinoa? I’ve managed to find raw baby carrots and fresh broccoli, only because a damn idiot would overlook the produce department, but most of the ingredients on this list are completely new to me. I scrub my hand over my face and inhale a deep breath, when I hear a ruckus crashing to the floor and a shriek of surprise. I turn my attention down the aisle to see Belle standing with her hands covering her face.

I look to the Heavens again and beg, “So, Big Guy, you remember that lightnin’ strike, right?” It’s a pathetic plea, but this grocery shopping business is beyond overwhelming.

I walk down the aisle, sliding my phone in my back pocket along the way, and begin picking up the overturned display of bakery fresh cupcakes. Fuck. I’m gonna need some willpower to make it out of this store alive.

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I wasn’t paying attention. Please don’t be mad.” Belle’s lip quivers, and tears fall over her long lashes.

I pick her up and kiss the top of her head. “It’s okay, kiddo.”

I ignore the scrutinizing looks of shoppers and head back to my buggy, considering leaving it where it sits and ordering pizza for dinner. I pull my phone from my pocket when I hear a ding, alerting me of a notification.

>>Jordan: How did the shopping go?

I groan loud and pull my hat off, swiping the sweat from my forehead. She’s gonna be pissed at me if I give up this quickly.

>>Madden:

I slide my phone in my pocket then push the buggy to the side of the aisle and take Belle by the hand, just as my phone rings. Jordan calling flashes across the screen, but I click end call and shove my phone in my pocket again. The phone rings again, but I try to ignore it, until Belle squalls, “Answer your phone, Daddy! Don’t be ruuuuudddee.” Damn, she is solid trying my patience tonight.

I pull my phone from my pocket and answer with a gruff, “WHAT?” without thinking.

“Wooooaaahhh. Take a deep breath before your blood pressure gets the best of you.”

“Sorry, Jordan. It’s been a stressful trip to the store.”

“So you’re still there?”

“Currently trying to make it out alive.”

“Which one? I’ll meet you.”

“Wait, what?”

“You need guidance. Where are you, and I’ll come help. I’m just leaving the gym,” she tells me, and I hear the distinct hum of a motor revving in the background.