Dad Bod (Under Construction 1)

Carter grabs his stomach and doubles over with laughter. “I plead the fifth on that, brother.”

I shake my head and turn on my heels, walking to my truck. “I’ll see you after while, man.”

*~*

“I'll see your twos and raise you one,” Carter claims, joking with Belle and sliding a Skittle toward her. We’ve just finished dinner—Carter washing down his ribeye and loaded baked potato with a Budweiser, while Belle and I each had a four ounce portion of salmon and steamed mixed vegetables. Belle sweet talked Carter into a friendly game of Go Fish. Me—that kid is a demon at cards, so I’ll sit on the sidelines and watch her school his ass.

“Unk, if you can't play Go Fish right, I quit.” She huffs and throws her cards down on the table, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Go Fish? I thought we were playing Hold ’Em.”

“Uggghhh!” Belle groans. “No. It's Go Fish. If you has no twos, you say Go Fish. You can't waise anything. What's that even mean? And you know the healthy lady says I can't has candy, so why are you even twickin' me?”

“Hold up. Pause Goldfish.” Carter throws his cards down on the table and leans forward, his face in his palm as he gives Belle his full attention.

“It's Go Fish!” She face-palms herself in obvious frustration.

“The name of the game ain't important, Belly. The healthy lady told you no Skittles?”

“NO!” Belle shrieks. “I’S CAN'T HAS ANY CANDY! OR CUPCAKES!” Belle cuts her hands in front of her, her body language loudly shouting no.

“No cupcakes? That's ridiculous. What does she expect you to eat, Belle?”

“Beggies!”

Carter visibly shudders. “And to think, your daddy is goin’ along with her evil plan.” He slides a pile of Skittles toward Belle and says, “I won't tell,” then winks.

Belle looks toward me with puppy dog eyes. “A few Skittles ain't gonna hurt, right, Daddy?”

I cock my brow. “How much sugar did you have at Grandma's?”

“Only a teensy tiny bit?”

“And you ate all your dinner?”

“Well…” Belle taps her cheek, deep in thought. “I ate all that I like. My belly gets sick if I eat carrots.”

Carter nudges the Skittles even closer and whispers loudly, “Do it…” the two-hundred twenty pound proverbial devil on her shoulder.

I roll my eyes and relent. “Jordan doesn’t hear about this.”

Belle smiles from ear to ear and cheers, “Yes!” She leans down and inhales the scent then says, “Mhhhmmm, suga. Too bad it's not a cupcake.” She pops a single orange Skittle into her mouth before she proceeds to separate them by color before she eats them.

“Want one, Daddy?”

“No thanks, Belly.”

Carter stands and says, “I'm getting another beer. Want one?”

“Nah, I'm good, man.”

“Unk, can I take my Skittles to the living room? I wanna watch TV.”

Carter scrapes her Skittles into a bowl and turns the TV on for her.

“This has to suck, man. I had no idea the effect of you trying to get healthy would have on all of us. Drinkin’ a beer ain't no fun doing it alone.” He longingly looks down at the bottle of Budweiser in his hand.

I chuckle. “It will be worth it.”