“I’ve noticed. You ain’t been in the mood for much of anything lately, Sav.”
Woah, what? Really? “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” I yell, throwing a bag of groceries forcefully into the back.
“Sav, look at me.” Luke grasp my wrist in his hand. “I know you’re angry. You have every right to be. But I’m tryin’ to be everything you need right now and all you’re doin’ is pushin’ me away.”
“Oh so you’ve noticed? Thank God, here I thought I was being too subtle!”
“Not too subtle at all, sweetheart. But it’s gonna take a hell of a lot more than a silent treatment to run my ass off.” Luke smirks and releases my arm as I jerk from his grasp. Damn it, he pisses me off.
We pick the kids up with a tight silence hanging between us. I know I shouldn’t be so cruel to Luke, but I don’t know which end is up right now and he’s only confusing me more.
The kids love that Luke’s here. They ate every bite of the pizza lasagna that he cooked for dinner. I was originally skeptical of the concoction he tossed together, but it was actually very delicious. After he loaded up the dishwasher, Luke put them to work in the kitchen helping him bake a cake. I had laundry to put away so I left them to their baking. I came back downstairs to find Braden and Brailee both sitting on the countertop covered in white powder, laughing loudly, Luke sporting my hot pink apron tied around his waist, but it ain’t doin’ much of the job at protecting his clothes. Although I’m sure nothing would have prevented the mess they’re all covered in. I’m certain this was his first attempt at baking anything. I can’t help but laugh at the mess they’ve made, eggs busted in the sink, cake mix and water splattered along the counter. After placing the cake pan in the oven, Luke and the kids clean up the mess, then he wipes their little faces clean, sending them on their way to play before disappearing through the house on his own.
Suddenly I hear Braden yell, “Oh my-gosh, he’s SUPERMAN!” followed by thuds trailing through the house. He slides to a stop in front of me as I sit on the couch and begins to bounce on the balls of his feet in excitement.
“What are ya goin’ on ‘bout, Bub?” I ask, looking up from my Kindle.
“Luke. I think he’s Superman.” He whispers with a wide spread grin on his chubby little face.
“Ah yeah? What makes ya think that?”
Luke walks into the living room and lifts Braden up over his head with one arm and starts to horse play with him. Braden giggles endlessly, a happy sound that I’ve missed hearing from my sweet boy.
“See, Momma! He’s even strong like Superman too!” He continues to giggle as they romp around on the living room floor. Brailee must have heard the commotion because she races into living room doing a swan dive right into their mess of tangled limbs.
Luke spends the entire evening playing with the kids. After making a huge mess frosting the cake, they play board games and romp all over the house. The happiness and laughter is endless. Seeing the smiles on all their faces tears me in two because it makes me wonder, how long will it last? How long before Luke decides he’s bored with us again and turns his back to leave just like he already has? What then? How will I pick up the pieces of their little broken hearts once he leaves them shattered? It’s only a matter of time before it happens.
“Alright, kiddos, it’s time for bed. Tell Luke goodnight.”
“Luke can you read us a bedtime story, please?” Brailee asks with big doe eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, Luke, please please please!! You can read my Superman comic to us!” Braden says, then both kids pout out their lips for good measure.
“Sure!” He says, without even giving me a second thought. He swoops the twins up, one under each arm and carries them upstairs to their bedroom. I follow them up the stairs to remind the twins to brush their teeth, but they’re already in the bathroom scrubbin’ away while Luke sings some silly song to them.
I tuck the kids in bed, kissing them goodnight. “Sit down, Sav.” Luke suggests.
“I think you’ve got this one. I have some laundry to finish up downstairs.” I slip outta the room knowing that Luke just caught me up in a lie.
I find anything to busy myself, anything to keep my mind off the invading anger. The house is spotless – proof of just how pathetic my life has become – so I fill a bucket with water and Lysol, grab a rag and begin scrubbing the damn baseboards. I scrub away at the scuff marks and dirt, trying hard to think of anything other than Luke, but before I know it my thoughts carry me away.
“Need some help?” Luke asks squatting down beside me.
“I got it, thanks,” I mutter, refusing to look at him. He pounces up to his feet and pads off to the kitchen only to return with a rag. He douses the rag in the bucket, wrings it out then starts cleaning a section of baseboard on the opposite wall. I roll my eyes and grit my teeth at his defiance. I can feel heat stain my cheeks. If I wanted his help, I’d asked for it but right now I just need him out of sight and outta mind.
I huff loudly. I’m so annoyed with this man.
“Damn, Sav. What’d that baseboard do to piss ya off?” Luke asks.
“Damn it, Luke Ashton, it’s YOU I’m pissed with! Can’t you just take a hint and leave me be?” Luke stares back at me, then rubs his hand against his beard. It’s thicker than what I remember, I can’t help but wonder how soft it is now. Damn it Sav, you’re supposed to be pissed, make up ya mind. You’re givin’ me whiplash here! I sling the rag in Luke’s direction smacking him square in the chest then I spring to my feet and stomp towards him. Staring down over him I gather up my strength and say, “You were my only constant. When the darkness never ceased and I felt like the seas would never settle, you were there clinging to me, giving me that glimmer of strength that I needed to pull through.”
Luke stands up, towering over me and I step back shrinking within myself for just a moment. He looks angry, but when he speaks I’m shocked by his words. “There’s my girl. Feels good havin’ a little control, don’t it, Sav? Well come on, show me how angry my girl is. Let it out, sweetheart.”
Chapter Fifteen
“STOP. Calling. Me. SWEETHEART!” She shoves against my chest angrily. It’s cute as hell that she thinks she can budge me where I stand. I smirk at her attempt and sure enough it pisses her off even more. Good. She needs to own her anger instead of hiding it away, terrified to release it. “You built up my hope, Luke, then you knocked me on my ass when you left. For two weeks I sat and worried over you! Wonderin’ what it was I had done to push you away. I needed YOU, Luke. But some other woman was more important. And now...” She giggles to herself, shakin’ her head. Note here-an angry bout of laughter ain’t no damn good. “Now you think it’s okay to just waltz back in here like the last two weeks are a faded memory, trying to play the hero to the little damsel in distress! News flash – it’s far from being okay!”
“Wait, what?” Other woman? What the hell is she talkin’ about?