“Ya okay?” I ask, tuggin’ her closer to my side. She slides across the seat willingly and rests her up against my shoulder.
“I’m good.”
We ride in silence through the mountains, slowly makin’ our way back down to the main road. The road is rough and bumpy, brush and trees scratchin’ at the truck as we pass through.
“Come to the Smokey’s with us for Thanksgivin’.” I don’t ask…I quit askin’ this woman any damn thing a long time ago. Goin’ to the Smokey’s for Thanksgivin’ is a tradition our family has carried on since I was a kid. Momma, Pop, Heidi Jo and me all go down to the cabin for the week, and just relax. I take Heidi Jo out to the woods to explore, but other than that, it’s really just a simple week away from Kentucky. Carly Jo raises her head and just looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.
“I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Can’t. I already promised Savannah I’d spend Thanksgiving with her family. Elizabeth is coming also, so it’s kinda a big deal; for Savannah anyways.”
“Okay, if you change your mind, tell me. Momma and Pops’ own a cabin down there, and we go every year. But if you’ll go I’ll rent us our own cabin.”
“Can’t change my mind, Colton. I won’t break a promise to Savannah. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. But don’t promise her anything for Christmas, because there’s no damn way we are spendin’ it apart, ‘kay?”
“I’ll not promise either of you anything, how’s that sound?” She asks as she begins to chew on her damn lip. I’m about to bite it the hell off. That little statement pisses me off, because I know, this is just her way, of pushin’ me away, not lettin’ me close enough to leave my mark. But instead of endin’ the evenin’ with a fight, or seein’ her cry, I just nod and drop the topic.
We pull up to her house, and I help her out of the truck, then walk her to the door. I remind her about our dinner date for tomorrow night, and pull her into a soft goodnight kiss. She kisses me deeper than I expected, but I pull away quickly, tryin’ to give her the space she keeps askin’ for. She sends all these damn mixed signals, and sometimes I don’t know which way is up. I tell her goodnight and kiss her on the forehead before makin’ my way back to the truck to head home.
Chapter 22
Carly
Agreeing to try to have a relationship with Colton has proven to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. He pushes, and he pushes hard. I love nothing more than being wrapped up in his arms, but I’m fighting with myself that with each day that we spend together, the more comfortable I’ll get. The more comfortable that I get, the more unguarded my heart becomes. We’ve had a few date nights, but the more time we spend together, the deeper he pulls me under. I’m slowly beginning to trust him, regardless of how hard I fight it.
Trust. Damn, if I ain’t one to talk. Colton has no idea about my friendship with Luke, and I don’t really know why I am trying to hide that friendship from him. Colton and I aren’t in an exclusive relationship, we are just trying to build one.
Luke and I see each other for lunch weekly. Never anything planned, we just always end up together at The Village Diner, eat together, and talk. I’ve learned that Luke is broken beyond repair, but I don’t know why. He never talks about his pain, but I can read it in his eyes.
Colton is very over protective and possessive. He would strangle Luke and rid him of his misery if he knew we were friends, or if he knew the way Luke looks at me. I don’t think he really looks at me in a sexual way, but as if he is peering into my soul, trying to connect to me. But maybe it’s my guilty conscience lurking, picking away at me, because I do have a strong attraction to Luke.
And then there is the secret I uncovered about my long lost brother, Drew Varney. I’ve kept these secrets buried deep within myself. Telling Colton about Drew wouldn’t change anything between us, but this secret is safer with me.
How do you unveil to your sister and mother that you have a brother that your father kept hidden away, but within his reach for nearly 30 years? You don’t. You bury that down deep, beneath the earth, and ignore the secret’s existence.
But how long can something that explosive be ignored? How long, before that secret begins to creep its way to the surface, peeking its ugly little head out just when you least expect it? Secrets. They are meant to be kept, but always threaten to destroy the foundation of trust that you have built with the ones you love, the ones you want to protect. Knowing that Daddy had a second family absolutely disgusts me. Every time I try to decode the secrets of his past, I get tangled deeper within his web of lies, and I hate him a little more. It’s so clear to me now, that Daddy certainly wasn’t the man I thought he was. I know I can share any of this with Colton, but I’m just not ready to tell anyone about what I’ve uncovered about Drew or Daddy’s past.
Today is a dreadful day. My momma, Elizabeth Simon, is visiting for Thanksgiving. I haven’t saw or spoke to my momma in over seven years. Don’t get me wrong, I love my momma. I mean, she carried me for nine months and labored in pain for twelve hours to bring me into this world. She raised me during the most memorable part of my childhood. But she turned her back on us, and walked away when I was only seven years old.
Ok, maybe that’s a little dramatic. She called regularly, sent birthda
y presents, and we visited with her and her husband, Garrett, in Florida every Christmas. I know that she and Daddy didn’t have the best relationship.
When she left Daddy, she ran from Kentucky to Florida and never looked back. She claimed the sunshine would help heal her wounded heart. I always found that funny…her wounded heart. Once I was older I realized that she and Daddy never were meant to be, if her heart was merely wounded when they split up. Hell, Colton shattered mine. But that’s what true love does to ya when you lose it. It shatters you, heart, mind, body and soul, leaving nothing behind but a million tiny shards. Momma never was broken, only wounded.
But her wound healed quickly, once she met Garrett. She remarried within a couple years, and never looked back. She only visited Kentucky when Savannah and I both graduated high school, and even those visits were very short lived.
Growing up without Momma left a void in my heart. Luckily, Savannah was always by my side to get me through the most despairing times that Daddy couldn’t handle. Such as getting my period, boy talk…SEX talk. Momma was always just a phone call away, but talking about boys and sex on the phone to my momma would just be weird. In fact, the older I got, talking to Momma at all, always left me with a deer in headlights kinda reaction. I didn’t truly know her, her likes, or how to talk to her. So our conversations were always mundane and boring. I would be a liar if I said I didn’t harbor any frustration towards her for leaving us. And since finding out about Drew, I have even more questions that I want to ask her. She has to know something.
I still haven’t mentioned anything to Savannah about Drew, and to be honest, I don’t even know how to unload something that explosive on her. I find it ironic that the more secrets I try to dig up, the deeper I bury those of my own.
Savannah is hosting Thanksgiving at her house, and begged and pleaded with me to help prepare dinner. She babbled on and on about ‘quality sister time’ and ‘making new traditions.’ So here I am, adorning an ugly ass granny apron, with my shirt sleeves rolled up, elbow deep in turkey guts. Way to go for a new tradition, Sis. Bitch! Dear God, why didn’t I go to Tennessee with Colton and his family?
Brailee is loving it, though. She begged to pull the neck and giblets out, and is now dissecting them each in a bowl while Savannah and I work on other preparations. Brayden is quietly playing in his room with his Tonka trucks, while Josh is sprawled out across the couch with a long neck, watching football. All morning long he’s been on Savannah’s ass about rushing dinner, and how he expects it will taste like shit. She presses that he is just kiddin’, that it’s the alcohol talking. But I can see that with each remark, her cheerful spirit diminishes. Stupid ass bastard. I’d love nothing more than to shove this turkey baster up his ass, sideways.