I didn’t comment on that one, because at that point, mechanical sex with Taye would be a step up for us.
"Devin, most nights we just go to sleep. No touching, no kissin’, just sleep. And when he does give me what I call ‘a mercy fuck’, it’s like he’s running a race or something. Like he’s in a hurry to get it over with. And when he’s done, that’s it. No regard whatsoever for me. He doesn’t care whether I get mine or not. It’s very frustrating."
"Maybe you should try making it more exciting for him. Wear something sexy. Tempt him, tease him; make him want you."
"Been there, done that. Something sexy, huh? If you only knew, Devin." She laughed. "If you only knew. . . ."
I laughed. I didn’t know why, but I laughed. "If I only knew what, Sandra?"
She walked back to the chair and sat down. Then, she smiled at me. "If you only knew what I had on under these jeans and this blouse."
"What?"
"Let’s just say its black and lacy."
"Oooh."
"I like wearing lingerie. I got tons of it. Victoria’s Secret, Frederick’s of Hollywood, all that. I love it."
"Oh, really." I never thought she went for stuff like that. She always seemed so plain; dressed in pants every day. I seemed to remember her having nice legs when I hired her, but that was the last time I saw them. I guess you never really know.
"Does that surprise you? Never mind. I can tell by that look in your eyes. You didn’t think I was the sexy lingerie type. Well, I am, big time."
"He doesn’t like you in it?"
"He used to. I guess it got old, common. You know what I mean?"
"Try something else."
"What do you have in mind? I’ve tried everything I can think of."
"Like what?" Now I was curious. Just how far had she gone? Sandra was an attractive woman. A little on the bony side for my personal taste, but attractive. You wouldn’t think she’d have to go through no whole group of changes just to get her freak on. But what did I know.
"Tell me something; if you came home, and you found the house lit with candles and a trail of Taye’s clothes leading into the bedroom, would you follow it?"
"Yeah; ’cause I’d know that she was waiting for me at the other end of the trail. Why, didn’t he?"
"Devin, I’m laying in the bed, butt naked. I got incense burning and soft music playing to set the mood. I hear the door open and close. I spread my legs and I waited, and waited. Next thing I know, the TV is on and I hear that guy yelling, ‘Let’s get ready to rumble!’"
"Hey, you jus
t picked the wrong night. Men take fight night very seriously."
"I know that. It’s a man thing, right?" She smiled a fake smile.
"Right." I smiled back. "Who was fighting?"
"That’s what pissed me off. It was some old fight on ESPN Classic. It was that bald guy, umm, Marvin Hagler, and some guy with a bad Jheri curl."
"Hey, I think I might’ve had to pass, too. That guy with the curl was Tommy ‘The Hit Man’ Herns. And that was one of the greatest fights in middle-weight history."
"Yeah, yeah, that’s exactly what he said. So what? Fight didn’t even last long."
"But what there was, was great." I got up and sat down on the couch. "Great fight."
"Anyway, I’ve tried everything from nasty movies to serving him a candlelit dinner, naked. Nothing about it seems to get him excited. Nothing about me excites him. I’m twenty-nine years old. I need to feel like a woman. I need to feel wanted. And I don’t. And I hate it," Sandra said, once again slumping deep in the chair.
"I’m sorry." What else could I say? No one should have to go through life like that. A passionless relationship like the one I had. I knew exactly what it felt like sleeping with Taye every night and not touching her, not kissing her, not feeling her body next to mine. Not being inside her.