“Kill anybody last night?”
Carmen gave him the finger and then she kept going to her office.
Throughout the day, one thing dominated her mind. Carmen thought about her life, or as it were, the lack of it. She had to consider, once again, where she was, and what she was involved in, and why?
Why?
Why am I even involved in this?
Carmen was going to Paris with Jada to prove to her that she wasn’t an obsessed workaholic that refused to take a vacation. And what was she doing? Carmen was proving, not only to Jada, but also to herself, that she truly was an obsessed workaholic that refused to take a vacation.
And the same question remained.
Why?
Why go through all this?
For the story?
Then there was the real question; the only one that really mattered. Is getting the story worth dying for?
Even though that should have been a no-brainer, Carmen had to think for a second before she told herself; no, it’s not worth dying for.
And if Carmen were to die over this story, what would her eulogy be?
Here lies Carmen Taylor, former supermodel turned investigative reporter, who didn’t know when to let go.
One that didn’t know how to stop chasing the story and start chasing life. That was the most accurate portrayal of Carmen Taylor’s life.
She never wanted to be the woman that foregoes her career to get married and have children. That was her mother, Dominique. Dominique’s life was to be a wife to her husband, Carlton and mother to Carmen and her sister, Desireé.
That’s part of my problem right there, Carmen laughed. I never wanted to be like Dominique.
Carmen wanted for her life to be more, and she had accomplished that. She’d had a very successful modeling career and now she had made a success of her second career. She had nothing to prove to anybody.
But Carmen would be lying if she said that she didn’t want to have a career and a man to hold her every night or listen to her thoughts over breakfast. And that brought her back to Marcus.
He was that man.
They had been engaged to be married, but instead of choosing to have a life with him, Carmen chose her career.
And even though Kamau was a nice distraction … a very nice distraction, she thought her night with him was more about feeling alive than anything else. Almost being shot and killed put everything in perspective. Having someone to touch her and stroke her was a reminder of some of the great things about life outside of her career.
And that had Carmen thinking about Marcus. So slowly and ever so surely, Carmen came to the conclusion that maybe it was time for her to stop risking her life and go home and try to be happy.
It was then that Sheila came to Carmen’s office.
“I think I have something,” Sheila said.
“I hope it’s something good,” Carmen said.
“I think it is.”
“What you got?”
“Well, we know that it all centers around those videos in some way,” Sheila began.
“Right. And it’s gotta be more than just selling those videos online.”