It's Only Love (The Matthews Family)

“How’d she find out?”

“He told her about it.”

“What?” I said in disbelief, because I didn’t know of too many men that tell on themselves.

“Yeah. He felt so bad that the next morning, he left the symposium, came straight home, and told her everything.”

“I would imagine that she appreciated him being honest with her about it.”

“You would think, but it’s not what happened.” Natasha paused. “My mother lost her mind. I will never forget that day. She was screaming at him and crying about how much he hurt her. Telling him to get out and never come back. All he kept saying was ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you.’ The next morning she filed for divorce.”

“The next day?” I was shocked.

“She was in her lawyer’s office first thing Monday morning. After a while she calmed down and realized that she’d overreacted, but the damage was done.”

“How so?” I asked, thinking that you never know the type of burden other people are carrying around with them every day.

“The day my father got served the papers, he signed them, quit his job and—” Natasha looked away and shook her head as if she were trying to shake off the feelings that she felt in those difficult days. “Anyway, the whole thing tore our family apart. My sister Victoria was in college when my mother told her about it. She was devastated. We were all daddies’ girls, but she was first, she idolized my father. We all did. But she was so disappointed that she could not and has not, to this day, spoken to my father. Now, my sister Kathryn was daddy’s baby girl. The day my mother threw him out of the house, was the last day she spoke to her.”

“What happened to your father?”

Natasha looked at me. “He stayed drunk for a month. Then he got himself together and left the country. He moved to Nassau. Now he teaches the New Testament at a junior high school.”

“I’m sorry, Natasha. I can’t imagine what that must feel like.”

“I think that was what I said to you,” she reminded me.

Chapter Nine

Victor

The following morning I woke up after dreaming of Natasha and I walking along the edge of the beach. Even in my dreams, I can hear her melodic voice dancing in my ear. The color spectrum is dazzling, Victor, and pointing to the absolutely beautiful colors of the orange, brown and yellow sunset. She stopped walking to appreciate the view, and I stopped to appreciate Natasha. So I’m standing there, next to her, and all I wanna do is touch her. And I want to so badly that on the inside I’m shaking with anticipation. Then Natasha looked at me and smiled and I felt so content in that place.

Paul told me that she told Vanessa that she thinks I’m fine and I think she’s gorgeous. And if that was the case, I gotta ask; why are we dancing this dance? I know the answer was that she had a man, but it hasn’t stopped me from wishing that Natasha was mine. The way she looks at me when she says my name. And when Natasha smiles, I feel like we’ve been together for a long time. So even if she wasn’t mine I was enjoying every minute of being with her. We were having so much fun together and I was just happy with the part of her that I could have in my life.

After that, we walked and talked for a while, before heading back to my family, where we got into a game of spades. We dominated because, much to my surprise, Natasha is a highly skilled cheater at cards. That’s right we dominated because we knew exactly what cards the other one had. Once Natasha organized her cards, she’d hold her hand up and briefly spread her cards with the faces toward me and I’d do the same. I left there that night feeling closer to my friend Natasha and was anxiously awaiting and anticipating our next encounter.

But that day, I had other things to do. I sent Paul a text and let him know that I was going to stop by his house that afternoon. We needed to have this conversation face to face and definitely alone.

On the way there, I thought about my part in this. Not only did I introduce them, I practically handed her to him. It was during one of their quarterly breakups. But this time was different he said.

“This time, Vic, I’m through.”

“You say that every time. And once the two of you calm down and get back together, nobody sees or hears from either one of you for a month.”

“Yeah, but this time I’m for real. I’m done with Vanessa this time.”

“Right. Until the next time.”

“Whatever. So what you gonna get into tonight?”

“Nothing really, why you wanna hang out or something?”

“Yeah, why not. I might even meet somebody that’ll wanna get with me,” Paul said and struck a pose.

I shook my head. “If you’re serious about getting with somebody, I know somebody that is dying to get with you.”

“Who?”