Bloodlust (Dark Hollow Wolf Pack 9)
Page 15
“First of all, slow down. Do you…like men, then?
Jax raised his gazespeculatively, looking over Cade’s body. This was the first time he’d
seen him even partially naked, and he very much liked what he saw. Cade had a nipple ring in one nipple that was making it hard for Jax to concentrate. He tore his eyes from it and nodded. “Yeah, I like guys—always have, which was part of the reason I’ve been picked on. Not to take anything away from you—I mean, you’re really good-looking, but it’s not so much you as what you can offer me. Growing up small and different and gay inthe Bible Belt south hasn’t been any picnic, let me tell you. Not to mention…” He shook his head and caught himself. No need to air his dirty laundry with this man. He didn’t know him well enough for that. Hell, maybe he never would. His secrets were shameful and humiliating, and he doubted if he’d ever share them with anybody.
“The chance to be strong, almost invincible— and a leader—hell yeah, I want that,” Jax continued softly. “I’ve spent my life being picked on by assholes who were bigger and stronger than me. I’d like to be able to take care of myself and Mason, and never have to worry about being taken advantage of again. ”
“You understand what this means. You can’t undo it once it’s done, Jax. We hardly know each other, but you’ll be pledged to me for the rest of your very long life. There will never be anyone else for you. Only me. ”
“I get it. That would go both ways, wouldn’t it?”
A small smile played around Cade’s lips. “Yes, it would go both ways. ”
“And Mason stays with me. He’s part of the deal. ”
“Of course. ”
Jax nodded. “Okay, then how do we do this?” He lay down on the bed and opened his legs, letting his fingers trail down his abs. “Do you want me like this?”
Cade shot up suddenly and moved across the room so fast Jax could barely follow him with his eyes. Shaking his head, he stared back at Jax’s surprised face. “I-I’m sorry. I don
’t want to take you like this. I don’t want to hurt you. But my wolf…he almost got away from me just then. ”
“Your wolf?”
“It’s inside me, Jax. It’s always with me. It will be born inside you eventually after we share our blood. I’m trying to control him now, but it’s difficult. Like earlier, when those truckers were threatening you, I almost lost control then. I would have ripped them apart. ”
Jax’s eyes grew wide and he nodded. “But you stopped yourself…”
“Yes, I was able to control it, because I had you safe, but it was a near thing. As much as those assholes deserved it…”
Jax watched in fascination as his eyes grew dark and wild. His face seemed to almost blur and stretch. Long incisors dropped from his mouth and Jax recoiled in horror. Then, with a hard shake of his head, Cade was back to normal, the incisors retracted and his face was once more the same handsome face Jax was growing very used to.
“Sorry,” Cade said, his voice low and guttural, unlike his normal voice. “I guess I only thought I had it under control. ”
“That’s what those truckers saw back there when they got so scared. ”
Cade nodded, his eyes solemn.
“What-what’s it like? Does it hurt?”
“To shift? No, not exactly. It’s more like…losing myself for a while. Today, when I stood in front of those men, I could smell their blood, their fear. It was like a hunger, a tingle in my nose, a burning in my veins. Their terror when they saw me was sweet to me too, their panic like an elixir. ” He shook his head. “Hard to explain, because my wolf doesn’t think in words—just images that flash in my brain. ”
Jax nodded once, his hands gripping the blanket beneath him. The danger in the air around him was almost palpable. “Would you…hurt me?”
Cade shook his head. “No. Not intentionally. I’m only afraid I’d be too rough with you. My wolf could take over when I was with you, and if it happened when we were mating, I wouldn’t be able to be gentle. You’re so little, so delicate. ”
Jax felt his spine stiffen. “Delicate? Fuck that. I’m tougher than I look. I can take you on— just try me. ”
“Jax,” he said, shaking his head. “You don’t understand. ”
“I understand. You think I’m just some kid. Because of my size and my baby face, you think I’m weak. Well, I’m not. I’ve had to be strong for me and Mason both. You asked me if I know about Cain and Abel? I didn’t go to church much, but one summer when I was about Mason’s age, I went to this thing they called Bible school at the Baptist church in our neighborhood. They told us some Bible stories. They told us this one about David and Goliath. You ever heard that story?”
“Yes, Jax, of course, but…”
“No, listen to me. That’s how you fight monsters, you know. That’s how you stand up to them. You draw a line in the sand and say, this is it. This far and no farther. Then you wait for them to come to you—just like that David did. You draw them in close and then you smack them down, if you can. If you can… I’m not saying you’re a monster. I’m just saying I know a thing or two about monsters. And I can take care of myself—and Mason too. I’m not scared. Not anymore. There’s worse things than dying, you know. ”
Cade moved toward him slowly, but the steps he took were purposeful, almost predatory. Jax stoodup beside the bed and waited for him. “You can take care of me, can you?”