“Well I don’t,” Sebastian says. “But I do trust Theo and Toshi’s opinion.”
“Want to know my opinion?” Vlad asks.
“No,” Sebastian says.
“My opinion is that, whatever we do, someone has to be here for Clarissa. She’s just seen her husband, and she physically can’t stand him. We all know what that’s like,” Vlad says.
“I’ve only had it happen to me once, and it was awful,” Toshi says. “My own grandmother.”
“Gia’s mother,” Theo says.
“Wow. That’s rough,” Sebastian says. “There was a woman in my former pack that affected me like that. But nothing to the extent that Clarissa just experienced.”
“Whatever you guys think about what Kyle was talking about and whatever you deduce from it, know that this is affecting her,” Vlad says. “Her mate is alive, but she can’t touch him. Her body is revolted by him. She won’t be the same.”
I never t
hought I would be in Vlad’s corner. Ever. But the more I came to know him and the times I could get him alone and talk with him, he grew on me. And now, he’s with the guys trying to get them to see past Kyle’s ramblings and understand how this is affecting me.
In all of this, he’s worrying about me.
“Has anyone heard anything about dispersal methods or serum?” Toshi asks. “I know you and Vlad were the ones doing the patrols.”
“I didn’t,” Sebastian says.
“Neither did I,” Vlad says. “If anything, the intel I overheard has them tipping their spears with it. The serum that is. Nothing about using Clarissa for anything.”
“Then we assume it’s something Kyle’s misinterpreted or that the Council has implanted something into his head,” Theo says.
“If we go by that logic, then we can’t put it past the Council to have released Kyle of their own volition,” Toshi says.
“I don’t think so. Kyle seemed lucid. And he said he freed my father, and the Council would’ve never let my father go like that. Ever. I think Kyle escaped,” Vlad says
“I don’t know what to believe, but I know this. We have a war coming. And we better be ready,” Sebastian says.
I heave a heavy sigh in the corner as the guys go down the hallway to finish their conversation.
Josie comes to check on me from time to time, and she keeps asking about my pregnancy. If I’m in pain. If I need anything. But I don’t have the energy to answer her. My heart hurts. My soul is aching. Kyle is within reach, and my body is revolted by him. It’s all madness. One massive trick to hurt me, I know it is. If Kyle has been changed into the thing I am, then shouldn’t we be even more compatible? Insatiable for one another? Unstoppable in our love and lust?
Isn’t that how this works?
Tears fall silently down my cheeks as the sun begins to set. Everyone eats dinner and Sebastian is trying to coax me to eat for him. But I’m getting tired of his antics. Of his babying. Of his control. I whip my gaze up to him and growl, silencing him and forcing him to back down.
“Get away from me.”
I see pain rip over his face for a split second before he nods and walks off.
I don’t want to be near anyone anymore. I don’t want them all looking at me like I’m a ticking time bomb. I get up from the chair after sitting there for six hours, then pull the blanket around my body. Everyone stands and their eyes fall on me, but I avoid their gazes. Their silent tongues. Their hovering bodies. I walk down the hallway and close myself in my room, then I fall to my bed in a fit of tears.
My husband really is dead.
And the realization makes me feel emptier than I’ve ever felt before.
Chapter 19
Toshi
Isit outside of Clarissa’s room and listen to her cry. I can’t stand the sound. I can physically hear her heart shattering against her chest. I lay my hand on the door and begin purring out for her, waiting for her to sync herself up to me.