I stand up, heading to the mini-bar to get a bottle of water. Right now, I don’t even care what it costs. I need the distraction, something to do.
“So, just to be clear, you don’t think I’m an alien or something not human?”
I turn around, bottle in hand, mystified by this turn in conversation. “To be clear, no. I don’t.”
“It’s just that after that plane crash, I...” She pauses, taking a deep breath. “Never mind.”
After the plane crash, what? Clarissa sure is acting strange, maybe a little more strange than usual, but as an idea dawns on me, I understand.
“Oh, I get it.” I sit beside her and this time I do take her hand. As a friend. “You’re wondering why you survived. You think it’s unusual that you’re the only one who did and that you don’t even have a scratch.”
Her eyes meet mine. “That’s it.”
“And you feel guilty about it. That’s why you’re getting these weird ideas about being an alien and all.” I touch her cheek. “But you shouldn’t feel guilty about surviving or living. No one should. Clarissa, there’s a reason you survived.”
She looks away. “That’s what I thought. That’s what scares me.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t know the reason!” she snaps at me.
I stare at her, stunned by her response.
“Sorry,” Clarissa lowers her voice as she rubs her arm. “I didn’t mean to...”
“It’s okay.” I drop her hand and open my water bottle. “I’m here to support you in any way I can. And listen, I know it’s scar
y that you’ll always have to wonder why you survived from now on, wondering if you should have, wondering what greater purpose you might have and worrying that you might not fulfill it. But for me, I’m just glad you’re alive. I was so scared when I thought you were gone.”
Her eyes widen. “You were?”
I nod. “Of course I was. And I’m sure your parents, well, Henry and Molly, felt the same, and all the people who care about you. Who cares whether you have a greater purpose or not? If you do, we’ll find it. If you don’t, that’s fine. Maybe your purpose is to just keep being in our lives. That may not mean much to you but that makes a great deal of difference to us.”
For a moment, she’s silent, still. Then she reaches out and squeezes my hand.
“I’m sorry for making you worry, Kyle.” She sighs. “And for snapping at you.”
“It’s fine,” I assure her, ready to forgive her anything. After all, she’s gone through a lot. “You don’t have to apologize. You must be tired.”
Clarissa pulls her hand away, burrowing under the sheets. “Things have just been so crazy lately.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t.”
“You can talk to me,” I reiterate my earlier offer.
She shakes her head, pulling the sheet up to her chin. “I don’t want any more depressing talk. What about you tell me something nice, something that happened while I was gone?”
I shake mine in turn. “Nothing happened, really.”
“What did you do?”
“The usual. Oh, I stopped by to visit your pets by the way.”
“Really?” Her face lights up. “How were they?”
I set the bottle down on the nightstand and move closer to her.