“Are you asking because you want to join us?” Direct. And this time I appreciated that quality in him that much more because it saved me a lot of waffling.
“‘Want’ is a strong word.” I tried to keep my eyes on the increasingly slushy road even as my brain felt equally difficult to navigate. “But we’ve got more cards to track down. And the weather’s supposed to be bad most of next week, so teaching you to drive a stick might have to wait. If showing up as the toga guy gets me more of your Google-wizard searching skills, then I’ll be there.”
“Sure.” Jasper sounded as carefully indifferent as me. “Prince Neptune is always popular with the kids. I was planning on only making you do the command appearance thing for the costume ball, but sure, you should come Wednesday. If the weather’s bad, I’ll drive you home so you don’t freeze at the bus stop.”
“Sounds good.” Actually, it sounded terrifying, but I now had a guaranteed time this week to see Jasper, so win. Also, we finally reached the Gracehaven exit, which I took slowly. “No sudden moves” seemed like a good motto right then. The campus was relatively dead for a Saturday night, everyone probably huddling indoors, but the lights of the library and the dorms added a certain warmth to the winter scene.
“It’s neat that you get to go here. I know how much you wanted it as a kid.” Most of the students at the near-Ivy college were from out of state. Townies like Jasper getting big scholarships were relatively uncommon.
“Yeah. I got lucky. If I hadn’t won the scholarship, I still would have stayed local. I couldn’t see going too far from my family.”
“You’re a good guy,” I said as I pulled even with the sidewalk near Jasper’s dorm. The parking lot was deserted, most cars covered with a thin blanket of snow like they’d been there all day. “And you’re the opposite of me. I couldn’t wait to get out of this place. Thought college would be a fresh start.”
“What happened?”
Part of me wanted to spill the entire tale right then, but the other part of me was still recovering from having my emotions scraped raw earlier. I already felt too exposed. No way could I air all my dirty laundry at once.
“Guess I couldn’t outrun my issues.” I shrugged. “Team wasn’t that different from high school. A top-rated Division I program like that…it comes with certain expectations. Don’t know why I was expecting anything different.”
“It’s okay to want to be someone different, Milo.” Jasper’s face was unusually tender, and I had to look away quickly.
“Yeah.”
“Guess I better go.” He shifted in the seat, gathering his stuff. “Don’t forget about the card in the back.”
“Like I could. Thanks again.” I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, wasn’t ready to head back to Luther and James and that chilly apartment, but I wasn’t sure how to make Jasper linger without looking desperate. Or like I was angling for another kiss. Which I wasn’t. Okay, maybe I wanted that, but I also wasn’t going to ask.
“Hey, what’s this?” Jasper reached down to his feet and came up with one of my sketchbooks. “This must have come loose from under the seat when we stopped so fast.”
“Sorry.” I reached for the book.
“Don’t be.” Jasper didn’t seem to be in any hurry to hand it back. “What is this anyway? Drawings?”
“Kind of,” I admitted, but kept my hand out. “Give it here.”
“You still draw? You always were the best at detailed Lego plans. And I remember the teachers all loving your art projects in elementary.” Jasper moved like he was going to open the book, and I plucked it from him.
“Yeah. Art time was cool and all, but you don’t need to see my scribbles.”
“You’re twenty-two now. I doubt they’re scribbles.” Laughing, Jasper shook his head, then brightened. “Wait. Are they like naughty drawings? Nudes? Because now that you told me that you’re—”
“Good night, Jasper.” Forget lingering. I’d forgo my chance at another kiss if it meant avoiding this conversation topic.
“Okay, okay. I get it. You don’t want to share. But I’m just saying that if you’ve got that whole Tom of Finland erotic art vibe going, I’d be interested in taking a peek.”
“Great. Now I’m going to have to google who that is.”
“I think search engines have gotten you in enough trouble. I’ll send you some links as inspiration. For your scribbles.”
“Thanks.” My teeth dug into my lower lip because Jasper was being nice and cool, and I was back to being a dick all because I didn’t want to show off my drawings. “Maybe sometime I can show you one of my better doodles.”
Jasper’s slow smile was worth the way that offer made my stomach revolt. “I’d like that. Night.”