“It was amazing.” He looked right at me as he said it, too, and I shivered.
“So where am I taking you?” I asked as we settled into our seats and got buckled up.
“How about 1435 Birchwood? That would be nicer than going to Luther and James for sure.” He recited his old address with a wistful smile that made me remember memorizing our addresses and moms’ phone numbers together in prep for being allowed to walk home from school.
“Sorry.” Maybe I should invite him back to my room. Not for…that. But because he seemed so reluctant to go back to his place, and him sad was apparently my personal kryptonite.
However, right as I was about to offer, he sighed. “It’s over by that big shopping complex off Wilson.”
He gave me the rest of the directions, then started fiddling with my radio as I pulled out of the parking spot.
“It’s dead,” I informed him. “Gave up the ghost in the fall.”
“I could replace it for you. Stereos are easy. I did mine.”
Him offering made my chest all warm, but I had to laugh. “A new stereo in this?”
“Okay. Maybe not. You say I need new friends, and you’re not wrong, but we gotta find you a better ride.”
“Says the guy who currently swears by the bus.”
I meant it as a tease, but his face shuttered. “I’ve got reasons.”
“I know. Your car’s a collector’s dream. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”
“I know.” He exhaled hard. “Driving…sometimes makes me a little nervous. Since the accident.”
“I didn’t know. But you drove to Philly. Rather well.”
“Well, yeah, I can drive. Not gonna lie, though, my nerves were real. It’s hardest having someone in the car with me. Not personal to you. Just…”
“You were driving? In the accident?” It was the first time he’d seemed at all willing to discuss the accident, and I didn’t want to lose a chance to know more about him.
“Yeah.” His voice became distant and far off. “We were on the way back from a party we had no business being at. Right in the middle of the season, so it was against team rules to be out that late, and none of us were twenty-one yet. I was the most sober of us, which wasn’t saying much.”
“It wasn’t your car, though?”
“It belonged to a buddy of mine from the team. Ended up with an insurance nightmare because it wasn’t mine and theirs didn’t want to cover. Anyway, it was a stupid thing. Thought I saw a deer in the road, and I swerved to miss it but overcompensated, and we ended up rolling into a ditch. It was bad.”
“I’m sorry.” It felt like all I could say and totally inadequate at the same time.
“Don’t be. You’re not the one who fucked up.”
“Did anyone…” I let my voice trail off because my morbid curiosity wasn’t helping Milo’s audible pain at recounting the experience.
“No one died. But they could have. So easily. It ended up that I was the worst of the injuries. Small justice, I guess.”
“You made a mistake. A huge one. But that doesn’t mean that you deserved such a gruesome injury.” Stopping at a red light, I sneaked a glance at his face, which was a mask of pain. Eyes shut, mouth fixed and hard.
“Yeah. I get that. And yet…I put my family through such shit. It wasn’t that long after Dad passed.”
“Which may have played a role, I’d bet.”
“Quit trying to make excuses for me.” He groaned and slumped further in his seat. “Sorry. You’re being nice. But I don’t deserve nice. Not about this. I know full well what I did was wrong on so many levels. And I didn’t deserve Mom and Bruno’s help either. He came. There was…police involvement. Charges. I didn’t lose my license, but it was close. And there were fines. Bruno helped me handle all of it. Said I could repay him over time.”
“He’s a good brother,” I said.
“Yeah. And how do I pay him back? I was a dumbass again. Got myself fleeced. Was drinking. Again. At least this time I walked my butt home. Progress?”
“In your defense, I’ve played George. He can be…persuasive.”
“He flirted with me,” Milo admitted softly as I passed the shopping center.
“I’m not surprised.” I’d suspected as much ever since Milo told me he was into guys.
“You figured?”
“He’d flirt with a fire hydrant if he thought it would get him primo cards. He tried it with me and a number of my friends too. Flirts with the guys who are into that, but he’s charming with everyone. And none of us lost cards worth as much as the Frog Court to him, but it wasn’t for lack of trying on his part.”
“Oh. So it wasn’t just me.” Milo’s tone was hard to read as I turned into the apartment complex he’d indicated. “Second building on the left.”