Out of Character (True Colors 2)

“You and Milo can divide the leftovers. We’ve got enough stuff already in our freezer.”

“Thank you.” I offered her another smile, and this time she didn’t frown. Baby steps. Like Jasper said. Maybe I only needed to be patient. Carrying dirty dishes, I followed Jasper to the kitchen.

“See? That wasn’t so bad.”

“It wasn’t terrible,” I allowed in a low whisper as we tackled the dish mountain. Same as in middle school, we fell into an easy rhythm where he washed and I dried and put away. “But the lasagna noodles were easier to slice into than that tension.”

That got a deep laugh from Jasper. “Could have been worse. And I could sense Mom coming around. People want to give you a chance, Milo. You only have to keep giving them reasons.”

“Wish I had your faith.” I wanted to kiss him so badly, but Jasper’s parents were still at the table and we weren’t nearly hidden well enough for that. I was debating whether I could at least get away with touching his arm when my pocket buzzed.

Reflexively, I pulled out my phone. And immediately regretted it as I read the message, my back tightening. “It’s my mom. She’s talked to Bruno. He should be back stateside and able to visit in two weeks.”

“That’s great, right?” Jasper glanced up from loading the dishwasher, leaving the pots for the handwashing.

“It’s not the worst.” Anytime Bruno was out of danger or at least in less danger was good news. “But two weeks…it’s not enough time. We’ve still got two cards to go.”

“Have you thought about coming clean to him?” Jasper handed me a pot to dry.

“No.” My tone was a bit harsh, and I wasn’t surprised when Jasper’s face drooped. Clearly, he’d wanted a different answer, but I wasn’t sure I had one to offer him. “I mean, I want him to see all the things I’m trying to change—staying sober, looking into art classes, ditching my loser roommates, getting you back as a friend—and I want him to be proud of me for once. Not hate me.”

“I don’t think he’d hate you.” Jasper met my gaze, eyes warming me through as much as if he’d been able to touch me. The way he cared for me and wasn’t afraid to show it was perhaps the most inspiring thing I’d ever seen. And I wished I had even half his optimism. Instead, all I had was a roiling gut and a lot of old memories that said otherwise.

“Don’t be so sure. He’s a good guy, but he holds grudges. He wrote down for me exactly how much he had to spend on me so that I could repay him over time. And don’t you remember that time I crashed his bike in fifth grade? He didn’t speak to me for almost a month. And that was a bike!”

“And you were kids back then,” Jasper said reasonably as he wiped down a counter.

“Exactly. And now I’m an adult and supposed to not be a dumbass anymore.”

“I get that.” Body tensing, Jasper paused for a long moment, mouth opening and shutting a few times. “It’s just…”

“Yeah?”

“I get wanting to show him that you’ve changed. But I also think he’s not your dad and you’re not fourteen anymore.”

Ah. I got it now. Jasper was afraid that I wasn’t ever going to tell Bruno about the two of us. And while I was worried about that—okay, terrified—I’d also promised Jasper that I wasn’t going to hide forever. I hadn’t gotten as far as coming up with a plan for telling Mom or Bruno, but to me, that was a separate deal. “This isn’t about coming out.”

“Okay.” Jasper didn’t sound like he believed me. “I’m only trying to say that if it was, you’ve got friends now. You’ve got me. I’m not going anywhere, even if Bruno gets mad at you.”

“Thanks.” A quick glance at the dining room revealed that Jasper’s parents had finally left the table. Thank God, because no way could I not kiss Jasper after a declaration like that. He truly was the best of guys. I brushed a soft kiss across his very surprised lips, loving the way his mouth curved into a smile even as we kissed.

“I still want to find those cards though.” For whatever reason, I just couldn’t seem to let it drop. And maybe Jasper was right and coming out was somehow wrapped up in all of this in ways I didn’t particularly want to consider, but regardless, I wanted to make this one thing right.

“Then that’s what we’ll do.” Jasper nodded like the universe would simply have to bend to his mighty will.

“You’re incredible.”

“I try.” Jasper’s shrug was so much like his mom’s that it was almost eerie. He seemed eons more mature than me in that moment as he patted my arm with a damp hand. “And so do you. I wish you’d give yourself more credit.”