The next time I look towards Olivia I see right through her so her nasty gaze can’t affect me. I suck in deep and I walk with solid, purposeful steps. The pressure weighs heavily on my shoulders, it sinks into me, my heart pounds so heavily I’m afraid it might burst from my chest, I can barely breathe because I can’t seem to get enough air into my lungs, it almost crushes me, but I keep on going all the way until I bang into the ice queen’s shoulder.
“Watch it, you idiot,” I mutter, glaring at her. She wants to make me wither but I won’t. I turn my head away and continue on walking. She starts yelling, actually showing some emotion and I shake my head.
“Cut!” the director yells, destroying any confidence I just had. “Extra, you were great, but Olivia, I need more.” Relief floods me, at least it wasn’t my fault, but that does still mean that I need to do it again. “Once more.”
I have a feeling that this is about to turn into a very long day…
***
I sigh loudly and slump at the bar nearest to my apartment. I was right, it was a really long day. Who would have thought that smacking into someone over and over again would be so tiring? But it was. And now Olivia really hates me. It didn’t help that I kept getting compliments and she was getting a hard time. I could tell that she didn’t like it by the way that she kept barging into me over and over again, getting harder each time.
“What can I get ya?” the sweet looking barmaid asks me with a Southern twang.
“White wine please.” She asks me which and I shrug. “Any, thank you. It’s been a long day.”
“Yeah?” She pops some gum. “Anything you want to talk about?”
“No thanks. Maybe not yet. I might after a couple of drinks.”
“Okay, well let’s sort you out then.”
I take the drink from her and sip it down rapidly before asking for another. I don’t want to get wasted but I do need to block the day out. I’m not needed on the sets tomorrow but the director asked me to be around over the next week in case they want me back. Yes, that was a really good sign but I’m dreading it too. Mostly, seeing her.
Once I have sunk two wines, I glance around the room to see how busy it is. This bar always looks like it’s busy, I have seen it a few times from my apartment window, but this is the first time that I have been inside and it’s crazy. There are bodies absolutely everywhere, as far as the eye can see. I actually feel a little silly sitting here alone while everyone else talks and laughs and has fun, it makes me shift awkwardly on my seat, but it isn’t enough for me to leave. I might be alone here, but at home I am truly by myself.
I think about home for a moment, about everything that I left behind. I really don’t think people understand why I had to leave, especially not my tight knit group of friends. Holly, Paula, and I were the three musketeers of friends, always together, through high school and afterwards, and I think they blame me for going. We still talk but it isn’t quite the same anymore. I thought I was doing the right thing but now… and I still do, but I miss them. The easy thing would be to go back and to be content waitressing between small time jobs and keeping my friends. As I sit here without anyone in the world, knowing that I have chosen a dog eat dog world where people don’t make friends easily, I kinda want that. Just a little bit.
“Is anyone sitting here?” A chocolatey smooth voice drags me from my sad fog.
“Er…” I turn to see a man in a lime green tie standing beside me, clutching onto the bar stool because he’s so desperate to sit there. I nod because I can’t quite find the words to say that I’m alone. This isn’t just any man; this is the best looking guy that I have ever been in front of in my life. I don’t know what it is about him, but he’s magnetic. He has this powerful aura around him that sucks me in and keeps me in place.
His cropped dark hair, those piercing blue eyes, his thick, muscular body… they are incredible. Not to mention his strong jawline and cheek bones that are to die for. He looks like a God. I melt into a puddle.
“Would you like another one?” the barmaid asks, shaking him from my thoughts.
I down the rest of my drink. “Yes please,” I gasp desperately.