Accidental Meeting (Accidental Hook-Up 3)

“Time to go,” I murmur to myself, stuffing my hands into my pockets. “It’s done.”

It’s probably time to leave it now. To forget Tia even exists before I end up in serious trouble. We had our fun, but it’s time to walk away. I’m usually good at knowing the moment I have to let it go, and I suppose this is it. But it doesn’t feel right as I walk away. There is still unfinished business there, I’m sure of it.

Chapter Seven – Tia

My heart thunders as I slam the door behind me and I rest my back against it. I lean my head back and stare up at the ceiling, trying to push all the sexual desire away so I can get my thoughts straight. It isn’t the easiest thing to do when it’s like an electrical pulse charging through my body, but I do my best. What the hell is going on with me? Why am I acting like a crazy person? This hasn’t ever been me, never. I wonder if this is why my friends from back home were so worried about me going… because they knew I would end up changing.

But did they think I would end up changing in this way? I could never have predicted it. This isn’t me!

Is this just because I have been thinking about Shane all day? Is this because of the awkwardness with Zac earlier on? The passion came flooding back the moment I saw Shane again and it made me act nuts. I let him touch me in public. We were being so passionate that we could have ended up arrested if we were caught. That’s insane. It makes me shake my head in shock. I don’t know what to do with myself now.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I whisper to myself as I force my way back indoors. Luckily, Rae is still asleep on the couch, so she hasn’t noticed me gone. I don’t need to explain myself. “Fucking hell, Tia. Don’t be so… wild.”

I stagger towards my bedroom and collapse on the bed, noting the mess. It’s a good job that I didn’t invite him in! Shane is probably already aware that we’re very different, but compared to his immaculate mansion, this tiny apartment with stuff everywhere because there isn’t any storage, would just continue to highlight it. It would be embarrassing for him to so clearly know that I am nowhere near good enough for him.

“We are too different,” I remind myself. “And that’s just another reason why it can’t happen. One of the many. And there are so many. I keep telling myself this cannot happen and yet when he was here I just flew at him.”

I’m ashamed. I am. That was even worse than the first time we hooked up because I should know better.

Of course, my body isn’t interested in the rationality. My body just wants him anyway. It wants me to run outside and grab him and fuck him hard. It wants to throw away everything that I know about myself and to see where this could lead. I don’t, because I do want to keep a small part of myself there, but still…

With a little bit of frustration, despite the incredible orgasm Shane has just given me, I turn on to my side and slide my eyes closed to try and get some sleep. A moment ago I was exhausted, ready to sleep the tipsy state off, but now I’m wide awake. My mind is whirring, spinning out of control, trying to work out what I’m going to do next. It’s nothing, I should just do nothing, there isn’t anything I need to do, but it feels like I should anyway.

Just get some sleep, I warn myself. Everything will look different in the morning.

I just hope that it’s better and not worse. I don’t want to carry this guilt around forever.

***

Rae is the one to shake me awake in the end. I guess I must have fallen asleep at some point, despite all the thoughts circling through me, but it can’t have been for very long because I’m still utterly exhausted.

“You alright, light weight?” Rae laughs, misinterpreting my lack of enthusiasm. “Hungover, are you?”

I groan and push myself in to a sitting position. “Urgh, I don’t know what it is. I feel like hell though.”

“I’ll cook you a nice breakfast. That will sort you out. Thank fuck we don’t have work today.”

“Urgh, yeah, that’s true.” I rub my eyes hard. “I couldn’t face Olivia today.”

“We can just chill out and you can finally spill all your secrets.”

I stiffen, anxiety darting through me. I thought she was asleep last night but I could be wrong. Rae could have woken up at any point and noticed me not around. How will I explain that away?

“You don’t need to look so worried!” she laughs. “I don’t think you have any deep, dark secrets… although maybe I do now. No, I was talking about the man. The guy that you’re clearly in love with.”