As I think about the last time I saw her, when we fucked behind the bar, my heart aches. Maybe to anyone else that wouldn’t exactly be a love story, something romantic to remember, but to me it is.
“Yeah, the good kind.” I lie to Stephen because it’s the easiest answer. Anything else will only lead to more questions and I just cannot give him anything. “A wild woman who wanted me all night long.”
“You say that like it’s a complaint,” Stephen laughs. “Sounds like heaven to me.”
I turn my head and try to focus on the spreadsheet in front of me, but it’s too dull for words. I don’t even need to be here really, this job does nothing for me and the pay is crap. I don’t need the money, it’s just a way to blend in, to lead a normal life so no one picks up on the truth, but I’m so damn done with it.
Maybe I should just walk out. What the hell would it really matter? I don’t exactly think I’m an essential cog in this machine and the job isn’t vital to my life either. I don’t need it, it doesn’t need me, so what the hell does it matter? I could walk out of here and I don’t think anyone would ever notice.
“Stephen.” I bolt in to a standing position, the decision made. “I feel like shit. I’m leaving.”
“You’re just going? But the boss will kick off. Remember Sara got fired last week.”
I shrug, resisting the urge to smile. I don’t quite feel like I need to keep the façade up quite as much anymore. There is something more important. I haven’t quite settled on what it is yet. I just know that I need to go.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m not getting anything done here so I might as well be at home.”
Stephen looks at me like I have grown an extra head. I guess he hasn’t seen this side of me, I’m usually quite compliant when it comes to work, but today I’m done. I smile reassuringly at him but his face doesn’t change.
“Look, it’ll be fine.” I pat him on the shoulder. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Shane, don’t just go!” he calls after me. “Just stay, or at least talk to someone before you leave.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I turn and grin but continue leaving. “It’s fine.”
“It isn’t though. Just be reasonable. Stay here for a bit…” but it doesn’t matter. It’s too late I’m gone.
I keep walking until I exit the building and the warm sun beats down on me. I stand for a moment and suck in a deep breath of refreshing air, glad that I no longer have to be in that place. Maybe I won’t even bother going back. Right now, it doesn’t feel like a building I want to set foot in once more.
“Where now?” I mutter to myself as I look around. “What the hell do I do now?”
There’s only one place I want to go, but I don’t know if it’s wise. I’ve been pointedly trying to avoid that building ever since Tia yelled at me and she stormed away, but now I don’t know if I can any longer. Not with her being rubbed in my face all the time. It’s as if the universe is screaming at me to make this happen. The only problem is if I’m going to see her again then I have to be honest. She won’t entertain me otherwise. I will have to be truthful with her in a way that I haven’t ever been before. Is she worth this risk?
No, that’s a stupid question. I know that she’s worth it. The question is, am I? Once I unleash this it will change things, and I don’t know if it’ll be for the better or worse. Actually, I kinda do and it doesn’t bode well.
I sigh loudly and start walking. I know where I’m going, I’m aware that I don’t seem to have any choice, I just hope that by the time I get there I know what to say. The words will hopefully just come to me.
Tia Cooke, what the hell is it about you? How have you unraveled me?
I was supposed to corrupt her, to unleash something new inside of her body, she wasn’t supposed to do this to me. I never anticipated that the cute blonde with the sweet little pixie cut would have me all a quiver. I wasn’t even interested at first, I didn’t want anything to do with her because I assumed that she wouldn’t be able to hold my interest. How crazy that idea seems now that she’s pretty much consumed all of me.
As I walk, I see a movie poster. Of course it’s of her. Tia, as Maria, looking sultry and sexy as all hell. I don’t know if she’s supposed to be that sort of character but that’s the effect she has on me. I’m desperate to see the film that she’s starring in but I probably won’t. Not unless this moment right now goes really well which I’m not entirely convinced it will. This might be the final nail in the already buried coffin. The coffin that’s been six feet under ground for a while now and there isn’t any reason to excavate it.