Yet for some reason, despite the fact that she has betrayed me, I still want to keep her away from this world. There’s a deep protective instinct in me that’s stronger than what she did.
“I… I don’t know,” I lie to Dad, my eyes flickering everywhere. “I don’t remember that night at all.”
“Ah well,” he sighs. “It probably wouldn’t do any good anyway. Once it’s online, it’s there forever. You can’t threaten that away. Like I said before, secrets always come back to haunt you. I suppose for now it’s just good that the newspapers won’t print anything about it without proof. That might come soon enough though, so you better be ready for it. Your life might become a bit of a media circus for a while.”
Urgh, that’s the last thing I want. I just want to live a nice quiet life out of the spotlight. I haven’t ever sought out fame or notoriety and that’s for a reason. I really don’t want to deal with that now… although there’s a small voice in the back of my brain telling me that some good could come for it. Maybe now after all this time, if the world knows about us anyway, I might finally be able to get to know my mother.
Unless that’s just me being overly romantic in my notions again. That’s very possible. When it comes to my mom it seems I cling to these movie style possibilities and I can’t seem to let that go.
“That’s bullshit,” I declare angrily. “Fucking bullshit, a media circus? I’ll have to find a way to stop that.”
“I hate to say it to you, Shane, but I think it might be too late for that. It’s going to come your way eventually.”
I hate losing control. I have already had so little control of my life that having this stripped away is even more painful. But I can’t get lost in how this is going to affect me. Right now, I need to make sure that my mother gets out of this situation alive and unharmed. That’s the most important thing, I can’t lose that.
“I don’t want to think about me right now, Dad. I just want to sort this out.”
“Me too,” he agrees. “And we will, you don’t need to worry about that. We’re always working on it.”
“What are you doing though?” My fists ball up in frustration. “It isn’t enough. It’s been days and we haven’t had any sign of her yet. Shouldn’t you be better at this? Shouldn’t you be trying harder?”
“We have scouts out, trying to find the location, and I am in constant contact with Lord Jones. He is keeping me updated on where the cops think the calls are coming from and what the demands are.”
“What are the demands?”
“Money, mostly. But that’s losing power and I’m pretty sure the kidnappers know it. The more information that the press finds out, the weaker their standpoint. Knowledge is power but they have less and less of it.”
I pause thoughtfully for a couple of seconds, tapping my chin. “So, if I revealed who I am to the world, confirming it, that would make sure that they had even less power?”
“I… I don’t know,” Dad replies curiously. “Are you really thinking about it? I thought you didn’t want a media circus around you? If you do or say anything to confirm it, you will invite it in.”
“I know and you’re right, I don’t want it, but if it helps Mom I will do it.”
“I will have to speak to your grandfather first, to see what he thinks about it.”
It’s the first time Lord Jones has ever been referred to as my grandfather, and while I rationally know it to be the truth, it still strikes me as a bit crazy to hear it aloud like that. A powerful, rich man is related to me. Odd. I guess I have never been normal but I always like to think of myself as such.
“Yeah, right okay. Well, you speak to him,” I reply in an oddly stilted tone. “And we’ll go from there.”
“Are you sure this is the right move for you? It won’t affect your life?”
I think about my life, about the friends that I have kept at arm’s length, the job that I just walked out of without even looking back, the girl who I thought I was falling for who turned out to betray me…
“No, there is no part of my life that will be negatively affected. You don’t need to worry about that.”
I spot pity in my father’s eyes, but thankfully it only lasts for a second before it’s gone again. I want to be the one to feel sorry for him, he’s the one who has made all the wrong decisions in life, not me, he is the one who is supposed to have nothing, yet I am the one who has been permanently alone, and that is in no small part because of his decisions in life. Maybe I would have been better being raised by other people and never learning of the truth, perhaps that would have led to an easier life for me. Who knows.