Crazy in Love

“What happened to you?”

“They remembered around eleven that night when they did their nightly round of goodnights. It took them two hours to get across LA and two hours home. Not one word about my game. It was all about my older brother and that fucking Porsche.” Seeming to catch himself, he chuckles. “Despite how I sound, that stuff doesn’t matter now. I wouldn’t trade my family for anything, not even for the Christiansens. Their family dynamic is great, but there’s something to appreciate about the crazy of your own family. Is that what you’re missing? The crazy? Or the stability. Most fall into one camp or the other.”

“I’m missing everything. I was raised as a third adult in the house, a friend instead of a kid.”

He angles his head and then gets up. Walking behind me, he slides his hands around me, and though my instinct is to slip out of his hold, I stay. He kisses my shoulder, his lips lingering, and if I had a say, I’d keep them there forever.

When I look up, his eyes are filled with a sympathy that makes me squirm, hating that he feels sorry for me. I say, “They’re not bad people. Just preferring to jet set than sit home and raise a daughter. They gave me everything, more than I could ever want or need.”

“Okay.”

I don’t look at him. He has no right to judge me when it sounds like his family has problems of their own. “Seriously. I got a custom-painted convertible for my sixteenth birthday and a blank check for each of my graduations. This apartment was for my twenty-fifth birthday.”

“That’s cool.” His tone is so flat that I tense from the words he’s not saying.

I head for the bathroom but whip back to face him before I enter. “You know what? I don’t have to justify my situation to anyone, least of all, to a man I barely know, even if he was just inside me. I need to get ready, so you can see yourself out.” I tighten my robe, fisting it closed at the top. “Maybe we’ll see each other around.” Hello, salt. Hello, wound. It’s not so nice to see you again. I hate how my defenses work against me as well. I may win this battle, but I’ll lose him in the war.

Standing where I left him, he narrows his eyes and shakes his head. “What the fuck just happened? And what do you mean by maybe?”

“Exactly how it sounds. You’re busy building your business, and I’m busy building my career. Last night was fun, but we knew it was only temporary.”

“Is that what we’re doing, Tatum? We’re walking away because you got uncomfortable over something that I had nothing to do with?” He clicks his tongue as if disgust covers it and walks toward the end of the bed to grab his pants.

“I’m just not going to be around today, so I thought you might have other plans as well.”

With one leg in his pants, he slips his other through the other leg. A humorless chuckle comes before I’m met with a hard glare. He grabs his shirt, punching his arm like he wishes it was a wall. “Fine. Whatever you want. That’s what you’re used to, right? Getting everything you want from blank checks to three-million-dollar apartments? If that’s not love, I don’t know what is,” he spits sarcastically.

His words smack me, a low blow not to only my heart but also what I thought was changing between us. Causing me to shift in the truth of the discomfort he mentioned, I say, “If that doesn’t say it all, I don’t know what will.” I grab the knob of the door, ready to slam it but stay long enough to say, “Guess I should have seen this ending coming. Nothing changes with you.”

“You’re right, princess. I’m as steady, loyal, and reliable as they come. Not something you’re used to.”

I try to crush the metal knob in my hand, but when it doesn’t give, I take a deep breath and shield my heart under a coat of mental armor. “You can see yourself out, and by the way, as a real estate agent in New York, it’s four million in this market.” I shut the door, locking it behind me. Screw him!

And to think I let him have sex with me without a condom. Ugh. I slam my fists against the door and slide my back down it until my ass hits the marble floor.

I let him get too close. That was my mistake. Now I’m stuck here waiting for him to leave. I don’t know how long I wait, but I keep pressing my ear to the door, hoping to get some indication of when he’s gone. The last thing I want to do is walk out to find him still here. I don’t need his negativity in my life. I don’t need anything.