“I don’t have details, hell, it’s just a guess. But... you look like her, Tennyson.”
“The woman you love?”
He nods. “Harlow.”
“The Greek goddess?”
He nods again. “I know it sounds crazy, but you have to trust me.”
Lennox snorts. “We don’t have to do anything.”
“Okay.” Eric shrugs. “Fair enough. But Tennyson can decide if she wants to trust me. You don’t actually have anything to do with this.”
“Who the hell are you again?” South asks, his fists clenched.
Crap. “You guys, stop arguing. God,” I shout. “That’s why I can’t be with you, it’s the constant bickering.”
“That’s why?” Hawthorne asks. “Because we argue? I thought you said something about not loving us and never having had loved us?”
“Was that before or after she withheld the fact we’re fucking dying from us?” South mutters.
“I’m sorry.” I drop my head in my hands, feeling like a mess and a failure and like I just wish time would stop. But my heart is racing.
Any moment could be our last.
“Look,” Eric says, exhaustion lacing each of his words. “I already did this once, when my crewmates and I all fell in love with Harlow, but you need to do this on your own. I’m gonna find a bed before I pass out. I’m so fucking exhausted I don’t think I can physically leave this cottage until I regain some of my strength. When I wake up, Ten, you’re coming with me. I don’t care if your lovers want to join us, but we’re getting the hell out of here, understood?”
I sit up straight, shell-shocked by his words.
“Harlow had more than one... um... partner?”
“Yeah,” Eric says. “And they think I’m dead. So, nothing is going to stop me from getting back to my family. It’s not every day you get a second chance at life; at love. But I have it. And I’m not going to waste it. You guys should know that better than anyone. Stop fighting and start listening to one another. Life is fucking precious, so act like it.”
Then he storms out of the room, down a hall, and slams a door.
The living room is silent.
That just got real, really fast.
I’m holding my breath, scared to speak. Scared to... what? Live in the present?
Yes.
Because the present is this: I love three men who love me back, but they are all going to fade. And soon.
It terrifies me, having everything I want so close but knowing in my heart it’s not going to last.
I don’t know why the witch doctor came into my life for the last minutes of hers, but her words were clear: What is meant to be will be, no matter how I try to change it.
I pushed the three of them away, and then Marden and Eric entered our lives and told us in no uncertain terms to take what we have and enjoy it before it’s too late.
“I messed everything up,” I say, thinking back to earlier tonight when I told them I wanted to end the relationship. “I’ve been so cruel with your hearts.”
Hawthorne gives me the saddest smile. “Maybe you’ve just been scared.”
“It doesn’t excuse what I’ve done.”
“We’re all still here,” Lennox says. “You couldn’t have messed up too badly.”
His care for me makes me feel shitty, even though I know that is the last thing I know he intends.
“Why do you put up with me?” I ask, feeling like I’ve let them all down.
“Maybe because we’ve loved you since forever,” South says. “That’s what we tried to tell you yesterday.”
“But there are no guarantees,” I say. “We could have the rug ripped out from under us at any moment. And then I will be here, all alone, holding onto those memories.”
“Then why waste a minute?” Hawthorne asks. He takes my hand in his and laces our fingers together. I’ve held his hand a thousand times but never once has his touch made me feel so damn seen.
“One day can change everything.”
“I’ve never done this...” I tell them.
“Done what? Fallen for three guys at once?” South asks.
I shake my head. “I’m not hung up on that. The three of you have been my world for so long. We fit together, we’re a team. And for the time being, I can keep you from fading. So, maybe I have just been living in fear. Because I haven’t been ... I’ve never...”
“What is it, Ten?” Lennox asks.
“I’ve never had sex.”
Hawthorne opens his mouth. “But...” Then he frowns. “We thought.”
I shake my head. “You guys assumed so much about me.”
“But all those times,” Lennox says. “You never?”
I lick my lips. “I know I’ve played a role in giving you a certain impression.”
“Why?” South asks. “Why would you want us to think...”
“Because I wanted you to think I was off limits.” I exhale, knowing they deserve the truth. “If I gave you the impression I was hooking up with different guys, I thought it would keep you from wanting to hook up with me.”