Steph's Outcast

And she always, always talks about resonance negatively.

It's not that I think she hates kids—I actually think she likes them. But the moment anyone talks about mating or resonating, Sam withdraws. I've pried a few times and she's mentioned that she's happy being alone. I'm not sure if that's true. Sometimes she seems lonely and lost, but it's a mystery I'm still working on unraveling. Sam needs a delicate hand.

"Have you decided where your hut is going to go up?" I ask Sam. Once all of the couples build huts for themselves, a few more are going to be built for storage and for those that haven't resonated. I know O'jek is putting his near ours, because Juth is his frequent hunting buddy, and he likes to go on morning walks with Pak. Maybe the location of Sam's hut will give me another clue toward her general thinking.

She just shrugs. "Wherever it's not too crowded. I don't mind sleeping in the storage cave until Flor and the others get back."

I make an unhappy noise at that. She was just complaining about sand in everything, and the cave definitely has a sand problem. "You heard what Ashtar said, though. No one's coming back until the brutal season is over. That's a long time to sleep huddled up against a bunch of baskets and furs."

"I dunno," she says, watching Bek pace, rocking his squalling daughter. "I don't mind the cave. It feels safe, being close to the main fire and all."

Safe. Hmm. "Would you feel unsafe in a hut by yourself?" I can't help but pry a little. Call me nosy, but it's worth a shot to ask.

But Sam only shrugs.

"Bunk with Daisy?"

"Daisy insists on her own hut," Sam says wryly. "And really, I don't think I'd want to wake up before dawn to watch the beauty regimen."

Okay, yeah. Daisy's definitely a work in progress. At least she's taken up herbalism…even if only so she can create lotions and soaps to “preserve her looks.” It's something, though. She still spends far too long on her appearance and laments about how “dry and awful” her beautiful red-gold waves are.

Then again, who isn't a work in progress? We all have our hang-ups. I think about my own mate and how he steadfastly refuses to even consider going to visit Croatoan and the other tribe. I bounced around the idea for a while—Ashtar's made the offer to fly us there if we didn't want to make the trip overland—but Juth isn't interested. The beach is his home, and the beach is where he wants to stay. I think some of it is still uncertainty with his position in the tribe. Even though he's accepted, whenever there's a conflict, I can tell he struggles with it. The Outcast clan's way of handling conflict? Head to opposite ends of whatever island-slash-atoll they were on and avoid each other. He can't do that here, and I think it's harder for him. He loves me, and he knows that Pak loves being here on Icehome beach, but some days it's hard for Juth.

It's getting easier, but it's not perfect.

Adding a whole other tribe in, however? Isn't going to happen anytime soon. Ashtar and Veronica (and baby Katamneas) visited Croatoan recently now that both Elly and Willa have had their babies and are fine. Veronica had another visit with Maylak to go over healing herbs and practice her powers, and of course they brought back news. Taushen and Brooke had a baby girl that they'd named Hazel and she was fat and healthy. Sessah had returned to Croatoan, too, claiming he wanted to visit his parents. I think it's because he wants to see Tia. Ashtar and Veronica also brought back supplies…and the news that everyone was going to stay through the brutal season.

It means a long, quiet stretch for those of us left on the beach, but I don't mind it. I have Pak and Juth, and I don't need more.

It does mean that with Sessah's departure we're down another hunter, though. O'jek and Juth have been heading out nearly every day to hunt, and they're working hard to ensure that the tribe has plenty of food come brutal season. I'm working on fishing, myself. I can't really throw a net far, but I can work a decent fishing pole, and I've learned how to put fish traps in the shallows.

Of course, I do that on the days that I'm not eaten up with morning sickness.

Today is not one of those days. I rub my stomach, trying not to think about being sick. I've thrown up twice already, and lunch isn't sitting so well. I glance around the beach as Sam talks about nothing in particular, but I don't see Juth. He must still be out hunting with O'jek, though it's about time for them both to return. The twin suns are starting to fade into the horizon, and that means dinner soon.