Despite being miserable and missing Beck, Chloe refused to give in to the same melancholy that had pulled her down after Owen left her at the altar. She had goals to focus on and a future to prepare for.
She already knew she’d survived being publicly humiliated and dumped on her wedding day, so she’d somehow get through losing Beck.
* * *
Beck spent the weekend at the hospital and the office, avoiding his empty apartment, where every room reminded him of Chloe.
Linc’s voice echoed in his ear. The unexpected apology. The admission that he felt Beck was good for Chloe. And the disgust on Linc’s face when Beck refused to give in and see things the same way.
Monday evening, Beck left work and headed to his parents’ house. His dad had been released that morning and spent the day in bed resting. Beck wouldn’t stay long, but he needed to see his father for himself and know that he was okay.
He let himself in and found his mom in the kitchen, making chicken soup. After walking over, he gave her a kiss. “Hey.”
“Hi, Beck. Perfect timing. Your brothers staggered their visits today, and you’re the last one for the night. He’s completely up for seeing you.” She smiled. “Want some soup?”
“No, thanks. I picked up something and ate in the car on the way here. I didn’t want you to have another mouth to feed. You have enough to worry about.”
She waved the ladle at him. Soup dripped on the floor and his mom just laughed. “It’s my job to feed you. I don’t care how old you are.”
Beck grabbed a paper towel and wiped up the spill.
“Now where’s that beautiful girl of yours?” she asked. “I can’t believe how sweet she is. She really took care of us all at the hospital.”
He cringed. He hadn’t thought his mom would ask about Chloe because she’d be too consumed with worry over his dad. Though he considered fudging the truth, he couldn’t lie to his mother. “She moved out and I haven’t spoken to her since then.”
His mom stopped stirring and grew still. Then she placed the large spoon on the counter, shut the knob on the stove top, and walked over to the kitchen table.
Gesturing to the chairs, she said, “Sit.” It sounded like an order and Beck took it as one.
He sat across from his mother and waited for whatever it was she had to say.
“Why?” she asked.
“Why what?” He was playing dumb, but it bought him time to gather his thoughts.
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t play games with me, Beckett. Why did Chloe move out?”
Dammit, she’d pulled out the big guns, his full name.
He studied the woman who, in his opinion, was one of the strongest he’d ever met. She’d survived losing a child and managed to hold her family together afterwards.
“Because she told me she loved me and I … I can’t say it back.” He clasped his hands together in front of him.
His mom narrowed her gaze. “Because you don’t? Or because you’re afraid?”
When he remained silent, she spoke again. “I saw how you two acted together. The sweet touches, the whispers, the reading each other’s mind.” She shrugged. “Did I judge you two wrong?”
He swallowed hard and forced himself to face his mother and the truth. “No. You didn’t.”
Beck had been trying not to replay his talk with Linc, but one thing kept running through his mind. You’re denying yourself happiness out of fear.
He absolutely was. And he was pissed at himself for it.
“Okay, honey, listen to me.” She leaned forward and put her hand on his. “We all lost your sister.” Her voice was shaky but she went on. “We all grieved. And we all moved on because we had no choice. But you … you’re stuck in that place where you think the doctors lied and anyone with cancer is going to die. Neither of those things is true.”
He dipped his head, unable to speak because she was right.
“They say your father will beat this, and I choose to believe them. Otherwise I’ll live in fear and I refuse to do that.”
Beck jerked his head up and met her gaze. “How do you do it? Remain so optimistic? Move on?”
She squeezed his hand tighter. “Because the years I had with your sister mean everything to me. Do you think I would give those up even if I knew the ultimate outcome?” She shook her head in reply. “We both know I wouldn’t. I had her for sixteen beautiful, wonderful years.” Tears fell from her eyes, and she wiped at them with her free hand. “Losing her destroyed me for a while, but I had so much to live for. You, your brothers, your father.”
Beck listened to his mother. Really listened. Because he suddenly realized if he didn’t, he stood to lose the most precious thing in his life now.