"Go," Cassidy says with a shaky voice. "I don't want you at the house when I come back."
Her words are harsh, yet her voice is shaking. I stare at her long and hard, and I don't know if she's crying, because drops of rain are falling down her face. I know I am, though, and I'm goddamned thankful for the rain hiding my weakness.
"Okay," I say, the simple word crushing everything between us. "I'll go."
She stares at me like she hopes I'll take it back.
And I turn to leave, knowing as I do so that I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
I leave my love, my tenderness, all the good I had in me, behind in the rain.
With her sweet taste on my lips, I let the storm rage on.
Chapter seventeen
CASSIDY
I don't know how I get home, but somehow, I find myself back in the beach house, breaking down in Valerie's arms.
"Shhh, honey," Valerie whispers, kissing the top of my head. Daddy is taking a nap, and we have some time alone for her to explain what's going on. "It will be all right."
"But it won't," I sniffle, thinking about my dad and Dom in turn. I can't believe this is happening, can't believe it's possible to lose so much in such a short amount of time. "It will never get better."
"You have to think of your dad," Valerie says, her voice heavy with sadness. "You have so little time left with him. You need to make it worthwhile. Now is the time to make memories."
She takes my face in her hands, making me look at her. "You need to be strong for your daddy, Cassidy," she tells me, her voice unrelenting, and I know she is right.
I have enough of my own problems, but they mean shit right now. All that matters is my dad. The man who was always there for me, the man who taught me to walk, speak and laugh. And now it's time to say goodbye.
"Okay,” I whisper. "I'll do it. I'll make it worth remembering."
Valerie smoothes down my hair soothingly. "Good, Cassidy. Your daddy will be so happy. He was so worried about your reaction. He was scared you'd be angry, and resent him for not telling you."
And I fucking do, I want to yell at her.
I hate him for not telling me.
I despise him for hiding it.
And most of all, I fucking can't stand the fact that he will leave me.
A month later
As soon as Dom left, the weather turned on us. The weathermen promised us a heated summer filled with sunshine. However, it is turning out to be one of the worst seasons in the past twenty years.
There’s been rain, thunder, and storms all summer long.
But I don't mind it too much, to be honest. I get to spend the days inside with Daddy, who is becoming weaker by the day.
We've moved him and Valerie to the guest bedroom on the ground floor, because he can no longer manage the stairs, not even on a good day. We have a nurse coming in four days per week, and she tries to help him as much as she can.
Time is passing. We're running out of days, and I'm bitterly aware of the fact that soon, I will be all by myself.
I don't show that I notice Daddy's weakness, though. I'm always smiling, laughing even when I'm breaking on the inside. We play board games, do crossword puzzles and watch a ton of TV. We do anything to take our mind off Daddy's illness, even though I'm sure it's the only thing on our minds.
I never thought I would be as close to someone as I am to Valerie. She is the one to comfort me these days, the mother figure who comes into my bedroom at night to tuck me in. I pretend I’m sleeping every time, needing that comforting touch.
I blocked Dom's number first thing when I came home to find him gone. It hurt so bad to see the emptiness he left behind, feeding our parents some stupid lie about taking up a job offer before he left. His room is empty and has no personality anymore. Just like me.
Maybe he tried to contact me, but I'd rather not know. Despite blocking his number, I still check my messages every day, hoping he's sent something via a different cell phone, but there's never anything. I know I should be grateful, should be moving on.
I'm trying to, I swear.
But there's someone else in my life now.
He is not Dom.
No one will ever be Dom.
And maybe this is my fucked-up way of getting back at him for doing what he did.
But truth be told, Adrian's lips will never taste as good as my stepbrother’s. His kisses don't make me feel the same way, don't send butterflies fluttering in my tummy. His caress is soothing, but it doesn't do my head in…