With the exception of a few teammates and Grayson, I had no one left to talk to.
And with every day that passed, the uneasy tightening in my chest worsened.
Months passed, and it never let up.
Then my life took a turn for the worse.
My fans started rooting against me.
“Kyle Stanton sucks. Kyle Stanton sucks…”
Courtney: Now
Atlanta, Georgia
Present Day
“I’m only here because my boss threatened to fire me.” I stared at Kyle across a locker room office in Atlanta a week later.
My back was pressed against a cold cement wall, and he was staring at me in a slightly muddied football uniform.
He should’ve been at the press table, reveling in his team’s 50-12 win and bragging about being one game away from earning a repeat trip to the Super Bowl.
Instead, his eyes were currently glued to mine.
“I would really appreciate it, if you would answer a few questions and tell me why you’re doing what you’re doing, so I can go back to Seattle and write my piece.”
“You already wrote it,” he said.
“Kyle, now is not the time to—”
“Your thesis,” he said. “You never published it publicly, and I’m still the same guy that I was then, and I’ve never said much to the press. I think that would explain a lot of things.”
“It doesn’t explain why you’re demanding a trade in the middle of a historic season.”
“I’m a very sore loser,” he said. “I can’t deal with someone winning something that I think is mine…”
My eyes widened. “What?”
“I wasn’t kidding about marrying you when we turned twenty-eight, Courtney.” He looked into my eyes. “And I can’t be just your friend.”
“We haven’t been friends in years, Kyle.”
“We had a temporary break,” he said, glaring at me. “I know we weren’t talking that much before that, but still.”
“Still what, Kyle?” I felt tears pricking my eyes. “Still what?”
“I’m not trying to be unreasonable,” he said. “But surely you can understand why I’m upset about you having a serious boyfriend without telling me. Even if we weren’t talking, I feel like you could’ve sent me a petty message or something.”
“So, you could show up to ruin it?”
His lips turned up into a faint smile, but he didn’t let it stay.
“It’s not like you ever got down on one knee and proposed, Kyle.”
“I should’ve.” He walked over and slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me close. “I really should’ve.”
“Kyle.” I needed to push him away, but I couldn’t. “Kyle …”
“Yes?”
“Let me go.”
“Tell me you mean that, and I will.”
I didn’t say a word.
“I’ve never loved anyone else the way I love you,” he said. “Never.”
“You have one hell of a way of showing it. You still haven’t apologized.”
“You know what?” He tightened his hold. “I’m sorry, Courtney. I’m sorry for telling you the goddamn truth, when no one else in your life was willing to state the fucking obvious.”
I tried to break free, but he didn’t let me go.
“I’m sorry that I was the only one who knew you well enough to say what you needed to hear, instead of what you wanted to hear.”
“It was the way you said it.”
“That’s what you keep telling yourself.” He glared at me. “I’d said it nicely for years and you brushed it off. The moment I was brutally honest with you, you took it the wrong way.”
“Is that why you slept with so many women after that night, then?” My chest ached. “I saw all those stories.”
“That’s not the point of this conversation.”
“You hurt me, Kyle,” I said, feeling my voice crack. “I know we weren’t together—that we never technically were, but—”
“Whose fault is that?” He looked into my eyes. “I offered to fly you to me, offered for you to live with me … I offered you everything and you turned me down.”
“How do you think I feel, Kyle?” Tears fell down my face. “How the fuck do you think I feel?”
“I don’t know.” He slammed his hand against the wall above my head. “You never fucking said anything. You were playing games then, and you’re playing games now.”
Silence.
The sound of rain tapping against the windows filled the room.
“I didn’t exclusively date any-fucking-one.” He glared at me. “No one else ever meant a goddamn thing to me. No one except you.”
“Kyle—”
“No.” He didn’t let me interrupt. “If you honestly think that I didn’t love you, that I haven’t loved you all this time, then let me know right now.”
My heart raced in overtime, clenching in pain as it ran laps in my chest.
“Is silence your way of saying no, Court?”
“It’s my way of saying that I don’t know what to do.” Tears fell down my face. “I really don’t know.”
“If I were a better man then, I would’ve done things differently. For starters, I would’ve pursued you freshman year,” he said. “I wanted to…”
His voice trailed off, and my eyes widened.