Of Love & Regret (Madison & Logan 1)

Mrs. Brooks checked her watch and clucked her tongue. “I wish Cassie would come home soon. I don’t know why she insisted on coming down from college separately from you two. It would have made much more sense if you had all driven down together.”

“Why don’t we get started on lunch,” Mr. Brooks said, standing up. “Cassie can join us when she gets here.”

“Yes, that’s a good idea. I’d hate for you two to go hungry just because she’s running late.” Mrs. Brooks got up and looked at her husband. “Can you give Cassie a call to see when she’ll be here?”

“Of course.” Mr. Brooks stepped away as Cassie’s mother ushered us into the dining room. She made a show of putting Logan’s flowers on the dining table, as well as finding a vase for my lilies.

“I made all of Cassie’s favorites today for her birthday. I hope you two are in the mood for meatloaf, macaroni and cheese, and mashed potatoes.”

“You know me, Mrs. Brooks,” I said, trying to keep my tone cheerful. “I’m all about carbo loading. And nothing beats your meatloaf.”

Cassie’s mother beamed at my response and excused herself to the kitchen. Logan turned to me the minute she disappeared.

“This isn’t right,” he said, looking grim. “We’re not helping Cassie’s mother; we’re just making her sicker. Going along with her delusions is only making things worse.”

“You’re probably right, but it’s not up to us,” I said in a hushed tone, afraid that Mrs. Brooks would overhear us. “Forcing her to face reality, especially today of all days, is just going to make her hysterical. She’s Mr. Brooks’ responsibility, not ours, and we can’t dictate how he handles her.”

“Has he even tried?” he asked skeptically. “Or has he always gone along with this act?”

“Of course he’s tried!” I snapped, my anger welling up quickly. Today was a difficult day, and I had brought Logan along for support, not to make things harder. “We’ve all tried! Do you think we want to pretend that Cassie is going to walk through the front door at any minute? Can you understand how painful it is knowing that it’s never going to happen? I may not agree with Mr. Brooks’ methods, but my God, he’s the one who has to live with her day in and day out. We have no right to come in here and upset the balance and then leave Mr. Brooks to pick up the pieces! Out of all of us, he has it the worst! He not only lost his daughter—his only child—but in a sense, he’s lost his wife, too.”

My voice started to break, and I pressed my lips together, willing myself to get my emotions under control. Logan took my hand and squeezed it.

“I

didn’t mean to make you upset. I know how hard this is for everyone. I just…” Logan sighed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “I just feel so powerless. I hate feeling like I’m making things worse instead of better.”

“Just play along,” I pleaded. I didn’t know why he was pressing the issue so much today. He had gone along with Mrs. Brooks’ delusions last year without complaint, although I knew it had made him uncomfortable. “Next year, we can try to do this differently. Let’s just leave things as they are for today.”

I was relieved when Logan nodded reluctantly. I quickly pulled my hand from his when Mrs. Brooks came back into the room with a huge platter of meatloaf. Mr. Brooks was behind her, carrying bowls steaming with macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes.

Cassie’s parents sat at opposite ends of the table, and I took the seat closest to the window. I surreptitiously shook my head when Logan moved to sit next to me. He frowned, but obliged by sitting across from me. Five place settings had been laid out, and the seat next to his was conspicuously empty, and would remain so for the rest of the meal.

“Did you reach Cassie, dear?” Mrs. Brooks asked her husband.

“Yes, she said to go ahead without her. She hit some pretty bad traffic so she won’t be here for a while.”

“Such a shame,” Mrs. Brooks said, shaking her head as she started passing around the food. “Her best friend and boyfriend are here to celebrate her birthday, and she has to get stuck in traffic.”

I swallowed audibly, but didn’t comment as I numbly placed a slice of meatloaf on my plate. The room was silent as we all concentrated on the food.

“Are you dating anyone, Madison?” Mrs. Brooks asked, breaking the silence. I forced myself to keep my face expressionless although my insides were twisting.

“Yes, his name is Adam.” I had told her last year, and the year before that, about Adam but I didn’t expect her to retain that information. It was as if she pressed restart every time I saw her to a period of time that made sense to her.

“I’m so happy to hear that!” she exclaimed. I busied myself scooping helpings of macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes on my plate so I wouldn’t have to make eye contact with her. Unfortunately, she persisted with her questions.

“Does he go to the University of Michigan, too?” she asked.

“Um, yes.” I figured the best answer was the one that needed the least amount of explanation, even if it meant lying. “That’s where I met him.”

Mrs. Brooks turned to Logan. “Have you met him? Is he a nice boy?”

My stomach clenched when he didn’t respond right away. I could see how tense he was by the muscle twitching in his jaw.

“Yes,” he finally said. “He’s fine.”

“Oh, good!” she said delightedly. “I’m so happy that both my girls have found such wonderful boyfriends. I never worried about Cassie since she’s so outgoing, but Madison was always the quiet one. I always prayed that she would find someone who would take the time to discover how special she is.”