I was too irritated to be embarrassed about being caught in a lie about meeting up with Emily. Despite the fact that I was considering an attempt to rebuild our friendship, I was in no way obligated to answer his question. I crossed my arms against my chest with a frown.
“Why are you here?” I asked, ignoring his question about Emily. Now that his girlfriend wasn’t present, I didn’t want to bother with any pretenses and I di
dn’t want to play games.
Logan narrowed his eyes, then shrugged, seemingly unbothered by my lack of an answer. “You looked pretty unnerved earlier, and I wanted to talk to you to make sure you didn’t think I was trying to manipulate you.”
His words instantly put me on the defensive. “I wasn’t unnerved. I was just surprised to see you, that’s all. As for you trying to manipulate me, I still don’t understand why you’re here.”
Logan sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Madison, I didn’t come here to fight with you. I came to tell you that I’ve done a lot of reflecting this past year, and I’ve come to the conclusion that despite things not working out between us, I miss our friendship.”
I stared at him, trying to process what he was saying. The way he spoke about things not working out between us minimized the significance of our failed relationship. Didn’t he know how shattered I had been by his rejection?
Despite my mind’s protestation of his casual words, this was exactly what I had been talking about with Emily. I might be masochistic enough to try to be friends with Logan again, but I was still wary.
“That’s the last thing I expected you to say,” I admitted. “Considering how…” I searched for the right word that would adequately express our relationship, “…tumultuous our past has been, I didn’t think you’d want to be friends again.”
“My relationship with Kristina made me realize a lot of things, one of them being that it’s important to tell the people in your life that you care about them before it’s too late.”
The mention of his girlfriend made me feel sick, but I tried to hide my reaction. Despite the bitter taste hearing her name left in my mouth, I couldn’t help asking questions.
“How long have you two been dating?” I tried to make my voice sound casual, although what I really wanted to ask was how he was able to move on so quickly.
“About seven months. It doesn’t sound that long, but we pretty much knew the moment we met that we had a future together. I’m just relieved that she agreed to move here with me when I was transferred back to the Chicago office.”
I was stupid to have asked him about her. His response made me want to throw up, and I had to fight the urge to cry. I would not cry in front of him.
“Wow, seven months. That’s a record for you.” I was trying to make a joke, to show how unaffected I was by his answer, but instead I ended up sounding caustic and bitter. I should stop torturing myself by asking more questions, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. “Do you live together?”
I felt like I had been punched in the stomach when he nodded. This was serious. Not only had Logan been with Kristina longer than any relationship besides Cassie, but she had moved here with him and they were living together.
The thought of Cassie was sobering. I was jealous for no reason. I had no claim on Logan, and he deserved to be happy. It was better that he was happy with someone else besides me. The ghost of Cassie wouldn’t haunt their relationship.
“I’m happy for you,” I said, trying to sound sincere. Maybe if I said it enough, I would actually believe it.
“What about you?” he asked. “Are you seeing anyone?”
I almost lied so that I didn’t seem pathetic, but it was pointless so I told him the truth. “No,” I said, trying to sound upbeat. “I’m still waiting for my Prince Charming, I guess. Either that, or my Prince Good Enough.”
Instead of laughing at my lame attempt at humor, Logan just studied me with an expression I didn’t understand. I felt awkward beneath his steady gaze, so I tried to fill in the silence, as well as make my escape.
“As you can see, I’m a mess,” I said as I indicated my sweaty and disheveled state with a sweeping hand. “I should really go inside and get cleaned up.”
That was his cue to leave because there was no way in hell I was inviting him up.
“You look beautiful.”
I swallowed hard at his words. I didn’t understand why he was saying that to me, especially since he had just professed that Kristina was his perfect match. I tried to laugh it off to dispel any awkwardness.
“You’re just trying to be nice, but I know I look like I just got steamrolled by a Mack truck.” I kept on talking, because the way he was looking at me was unnerving. “I didn’t think running would take so much out of me. It’s been a long time since I’ve done any sort of exercise, and I’m going to pay for it tomorrow with sore muscles.”
“Are you coming to my party next Saturday?” he asked, ignoring my blatherings about running. “It’s at my apartment, and it won’t be many people. I’d really like it if you came. And Emily, too, of course.”
I bit my lip as I thought it over. I had told him earlier that I already had plans, but apparently he hadn’t believed me. It probably wasn’t smart to go. I didn’t even understand why he wanted me there. I decided not to play games and just ask him outright.
“Why do you want me to come? I know you said you miss our friendship, but it’s a little naïve to think we can just jump back to being friends.”
“Why? It’s in the past. We’ve both moved on.”