Of Love & Regret (Madison & Logan 1)

ters, yet you were fucking her boyfriend. She probably died of a broken heart. You might as well have just killed her.”

I gripped the back of the chair next to me so that I wouldn’t crumple into a heap on the floor. Her words were like arrows to the heart, but I didn’t want her to realize how much they affected me.

“I said, get out,” I said in a shaky voice. I couldn’t take anymore. I felt like I was going to explode, and my next words came out in a scream. “Get out, now!”

Instead of leaving, Kristina rushed over to me. I flinched, expecting to feel a blow, but instead, she grabbed my hand, her grip desperate. Her eyes were full of panic and desperation.

“You can make up for what you did to your best friend by leaving Logan alone,” she pleaded. Her anger had disappeared, leaving only stark anguish. “Don’t take him away from me. I need him. I love him! I know he loves me, too. He’s just confused right now. I left my entire life in L.A. to be here with him. We talked about getting married and having a family together. Don’t destroy another person’s life with your selfishness. It’s what’s best for Logan, too. I can make him happy, I know it!”

Her words battered into me. How could Logan have spoken about marriage and children with someone else if he claimed to be so in love with me? What could I say to this woman who was begging me to leave Logan alone? Why did my happiness have to mean someone else’s misery? I was confused and heartbroken, and I wanted to cry and scream. But above all, I just wanted to be left alone.

“Please leave,” I whispered, feeling broken. “I have nothing else to say.”

Kristina snarled, and her eyes glowed with rage. She dropped my hand in disgust. “Don’t think I’m just going to lay down and die, bitch. I’m going to fight for Logan, and you’re going to lose. I’ll make sure of it.”

She stalked out of my apartment, slamming the door violently behind her. I was relieved that she was finally gone, but now I was left with the tatters of my heart. Where the hell was Logan?

I went into the bedroom to retrieve my cell phone, and saw that I had multiple texts and missed calls from him. I had slept with my phone, and it had become entangled in the covers, which muted the sounds that should have alerted me to his attempts to contact me. I scrolled numbly through his texts.

I had to stop into the office today for an emergency. I’ll come over afterwards. How are you doing?

I just called but you didn’t pick up your phone. Call me when you get this.

Maddie, where the hell are you?

He had called multiple times, but left only two voicemails. They were along the same vein as his texts, demanding to know where I was and why I wasn’t picking up my phone. I pressed the button to call him back and he answered before the first ring even finished.

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for hours,” he said impatiently. “I was getting worried, but I had some things I had to take care of at work. I’m on my way to your apartment right now.”

“Kristina stopped by,” I said, trying to keep the accusatory tone out of my voice but it was hard. “It got pretty ugly.”

“Shit.” Logan sighed, his voice gentling. “I’m sorry, Maddie. She took the breakup pretty badly. I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes and we can talk about it.”

“Fine,” I said and then hung up. I knew it was abrupt, but I was angry, even though I wasn’t sure I had a right to be.

I took a quick shower, and by the time I was done and had changed into jeans and a t-shirt, the buzzer for the building entrance sounded. I pressed the button to let Logan in, and he walked up the flights of stairs to my apartment in record time.

He dropped a quick kiss on my mouth when I opened my door, like nothing was wrong. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come over earlier. I hate going into the office on a Sunday, but there were some pressing matters I had to take care of.”

I didn’t respond. I just turned around and walked to the living room, sitting down on the couch. Logan sighed as he joined me, trying to cradle me in his arms. I didn’t pull away, but I held myself stiffly.

“I didn’t think Kristina would come over here to confront you,” he said apologetically. “You shouldn’t have to deal with her. That’s my responsibility. What happened?”

“She basically told me I was a horrible person,” I said, staring at my hands on my lap. “There wasn’t really much I could say to defend myself. How does she even know where I live?”

Logan grasped my chin gently and tilted my head up so I had to look at him. “I’m sure it wasn’t hard for her to figure out. She probably found your contact info on my computer.” He sighed deeply. “I know we went about this the wrong way. I should have ended things with her before coming back to you, but we can’t change how it happened. I’m sorry for hurting her, but I can’t regret anything that brought us back together again.”

I wanted to just accept his words and melt into him, but I couldn’t forget the things Kristina had said.

“What did you tell her about Cassie?”

Logan frowned, his eyebrows furrowing. “Did she bring her up?” He continued talking when I nodded. “She asked how you and I met in college, and I told her that you were best friends with my college girlfriend.” He grimaced. “I thought it best to tell the truth with the least amount of detail. I never told her about what happened between us. As far as she knows, we were only friends in college.”

“Did you tell her that Cassie killed herself?” I asked quietly.

Logan shook his head. “No. I told Kristina she died, but I never told her how. I said it was painful to remember, and I didn’t like talking about it. She accepted my explanation and never brought it up again.” His frown deepened. “What exactly did she say about Cassie?”

“She guessed at the truth. That we betrayed her.” I couldn’t repeat the things she had said about Cassie dying of a broken heart. That I was responsible for killing her. Saying those words out loud would shatter me.