Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan 2)

Logan’s voice grew husky. “I love you, too. I can’t wait to see you tonight.”

It was almost painful when our call was disconnected, our tie severed. I felt a physical ache that we were apart while Logan was hurt. I wasn’t sure if it was because I thought he needed me, or that I needed to see with my own eyes that he was okay. The desire to put my arms around him, and feel him alive and vibrant, to reassure myself that he was healthy, was overwhelming. I couldn’t fathom losing him. Losing Cassie had almost killed me. I didn’t think I could survive losing Logan.

I took a deep breath and tried to clear my head of such depressing thoughts. Logan had reassured me that he was okay, and he wouldn’t have been cleared to fly home tonight if he was seriously hurt. My own guilt for having had doubts about him was fueling my anxiety, making it disproportionately worse than what the situation called for.

I tried to distract myself by playing with Lola, but I still felt tense. I had to resist the urge to call Logan back and interrogate him further because I knew he needed to get work done so he could leave early. It was a relief when Emily came home later in the afternoon, and it took everything I had not to pounce on her and pour out everything that had happened.

Lola went crazy when Emily walked in the door, whimpering and licking Emily like she hadn’t seen her for months.

“Hey, girl,” Emily crooned as she crouched in front of Lola and returned the love. She looked up at me as she scruffed her fur. “How has she been?”

“She’s been a sweetheart. She’s such a good dog. If she wasn’t so attached to you, I’d try to steal her away.”

“Oh, no, no one can take the little puppy from her mommy, can they?” I excused Emily’s baby talk to Lola as she scratched her under her chin, since she hadn’t seen her in a couple of days. As attached as Lola was to Emily, I think Emily was even more attached to her.

Lola followed Emily around, wagging her tail, as Emily collapsed onto the couch with a sigh of relief.

“I’m so glad to be back. Even though I was in New York for only a couple of days, I think I did a week’s worth of work. And of course, Sylvia was a bear to deal with. Sometimes I think she’s even worse than the clients.”

“Do you at least get the day off tomorrow?” I asked sympathetically, as I sat down next to her. “Sylvia has to cut you some slack since she’s been working you so hard lately. Even more than normal.” As much as I wanted to pour out the details of what had happened with Logan, I knew how much stress Emily’s job caused her and wanted to give her the chance to vent.

Emily snorted loudly. “Yeah, right. The slave driver’s not going to give me a day off. It would actually be more stressful to take tomorrow off, since there’s so much going on at work. Catching up would be a bitch.”

“I think you need a glass of wine,” I said as I moved to stand up. Emily waved me back down and shook her head.

“If I drink anything, I’m going to fall right to sleep. I need to organize some work files on my computer tonight because they’re a mess.”

“Ugh, more work.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “Tell me about it.” She stretched and yawned. “Anything interesting happen here? You must be missing Logan since you rarely spend more than a couple of hours apart.”

“That’s not true!” I exclaimed, but I had to laugh because it wasn’t that far from the truth. “We go the whole day without seeing each other on weekdays, while Logan’s at work.”

“Yeah, but you guys call and text, like, every other hour. And don’t forget how often you go to meet him for lunch.”

r /> I put my hands up in surrender. “You’re right, you’re right. We’re in a codependent relationship. I admit it.”

Emily poked my arm with a smile. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing. I wouldn’t mind having a gorgeous guy worship the ground I walk on. Logan would do anything for you.”

I immediately felt guilty by her words, because she was right. Logan would do anything for me. I, on the other hand, had doubted his faithfulness while he had been lying in a hospital bed, unconscious.

“What’s wrong?” Emily asked with a frown. “You look like someone just told you your dog died or something.” Emily grabbed Lola around the neck and gave her a kiss on the head. “I’ve gotta think of a new expression. Lola doesn’t approve of that one.”

I sighed heavily. “It’s just that I’ve realized how much I suck at relationships. Logan was in a car accident last night. He says he wasn’t badly injured but apparently he was hurt enough to stay the night at the hospital. He was even unconscious for a while. He had told me yesterday, earlier in the day, that he would call, and what did I think when I didn’t hear from him? I immediately assumed that he was screwing around with Kristina. What’s wrong with me?”

Emily looked concerned. “I’m so sorry to hear about Logan. How’s he doing?”

I frowned. “He said he just has some bruises and scratches, but he must have hit his head pretty hard to have been unconscious. He’s cutting the trip short and coming back tonight.”

Emily’s face cleared. “It doesn’t sound like it was serious if he’s okay to fly. And it’s natural for you to be worried because he’s back in the same city as Kristina. You were just jealous.”

I shook my head. “I let my jealousy and pride become more important than my relationship with Logan. Instead of jumping to conclusions and being hurt, I should have just called him. If I had, I would have known sooner about the accident.”

“And done what? There’s nothing you could have done to help him.”

“But something could have been seriously wrong,” I insisted. “I could have flown out there to be with him.”

“I think you’re being hard on yourself,” Emily said. “At the end of the day, Logan’s okay and he’s coming home and you guys will continue being the fabulous, sickeningly sweet couple that I know and love.”