Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan 2)

Logan had a stubborn look on his face. “Tonight is good enough. She doesn’t get you Saturday and Sunday too. If you want to spend time with her that badly, just tell her to come over here on Saturday or Sunday and I’ll make us brunch.”

Now it was more than a matter of wanting to have some time apart from Logan due to his possible betrayal. His heavy-handedness was irritating at times, and I didn’t want him to think that he could dictate what I did. It was one thing for him to order me around in the bedroom. It was entirely another thing for him to order me around outside of it.

“I’m sorry, but where did you get the idea that you can tell me what to do with my time?”

Logan sighed. “Why are we fighting about this? Is it so wrong that I want to spend time with you?”

“No,” I said, but I wasn’t ready to be appeased. His sentiment of wanting to spend time together was flattering, but I objected to his methods. “But you need to respect when I tell you I need to spend time with someone else. This is my best friend we’re talking about. Not only that, but she was the biggest cheerleader for us getting together.”

Logan rubbed his forehead tiredly. “I don’t want to fight about this. If you really feel like you have to spend all that time with her, I’ll accept it. I won’t be happy about it, but I’ll accept it.”

I could have made an argument that it wasn’t something he needed to accept because he had no choice in the matter, but I didn’t want to argue either. I kneeled on the bed and pulled him down for a kiss. “Like I said, I’ll spend Saturday night here.”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “You’d better, because I have a feeling you’re going to need a lot of punishing.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help laughing. I was able to keep it lighthearted while we got ready for the day, despite a heaviness that weighed me down. When we left his apartment together and parted ways, I knew it was the right decision to spend time apart, because my fears were already bubbling to the surface. It was all I could do to stop from blurting out accusations about him and Kristina.

The day went by quicker than anticipated because I was behind on my article, so every minute was devoted to getting it finished and sent to my editor. Thoughts of Logan and Kristina constantly crept up, but I forced myself to push them out of my head so I could meet the Friday deadline.

It was with a sigh of relief when I finally pushed send on the email with my article attached to my boss. The weekend had officially started, but now with no article to concentrate on, my attention was wholly focused on the possibility of Logan’s betrayal. As it turned out, Emily had to work late tonight so she wasn’t able to come over.

I was restless in my apartment alone with my thoughts, and the TV did nothing to distract me so I finally turned it off. I grabbed a photo album from my bookshelf and settled into the couch to leaf through it. Until a few months ago, I had kept this photo album hidden since it was full of pictures of me and Cassie growing up, all the way to college. I hadn’t wanted to be reminded of the painful past, but lately, looking through them had given me a sense of peace. Our friendship had been one of the most important things in my life, and I was finally able to reminisce about the good times without guilt.

I had been lost in my thoughts for a while when my phone beeped, signaling a text message.

Miss you. See you tomorrow night.

Logan’s words should have made me happy, but instead I felt more confused. He was always so devoted, so wholly focused on me, that it made the idea of him cheating on me seem impossible. Either he was an amazing actor or he was faithful to me.

I glanced down at a picture of Cassie and me in our junior year dorm room, and felt a pang of regret that I hadn’t felt in a while. Neither Logan nor I had a good track record when it came to being faithful. When we had first gotten back together after the whole Kristina debacle, I had been waiting for the other shoe to drop, convinced that the cosmic forces wouldn’t allow me to be so deliriously happy after all the pain I had caused. But after a while, that fear had receded into the background as life with Logan proved to be everything I’d hoped for, and more. But maybe karma was now finally paying me back.

I shook my head at the dismal thought. I needed to stop dwelling on the past and move on. I sighed and closed the photo album, deciding to make it an early night and go to bed. I would just make myself crazy with my thoughts.

I was still pretty wired, so I popped a couple of sleeping pills so that sleep would come easily. As my head hit the pillow and I drifted off, I promised myself that I would stop taking them so often so I wouldn’t become dependent on them.

The weekend went by quicker than I thought it would, considering Logan and I were spending most of it apart. I went over to Emily’s place on Saturday and we had a lazy day where the most active thing we did was take Lola for a walk. I told Emily about everything I had found out, and despite being as surprised as I was by the texts, she was convinced that Logan had been nothing but faithful to me. Her confidence in Logan helped to make me feel better, and I was almost able to convince myself that she was right.

As promised, I spent Saturday night at Logan’s, and he made me lose the ability to think, let alone worry about him and Kristina, with his hands and mouth and other parts of his body that demanded my sole attention. He was still a bit grumpy about not spending the day together on Sunday, but I knew I needed that time alone. Mack was coming into town on Monday, and we were all going out to dinner that night. I needed to prepare myself for whatever was to come, good or bad.

I was on pins and needles during the day on Monday, both dreading and anticipating meeting Mack. By the time Logan picked me up after work to head over to the restaurant, I had rehearsed a million times exactly what I would say to Mack. The only problem was, would I get a chance to talk to him alone? Logan had said he was in town until Friday, but I didn’t know if I would have a chance to see Mack again before he left.

“You look beautiful,” Logan said with an appreciative glance, before turning his attention back onto the road.

“Thanks,” I replied, trying to hide my nervousness. I relaxed the death grip I had on my purse, willing myself to relax. I didn’t know what else to say, so I said, “I’m looking forward to dinner.”

“I think you’ll really like Mack. He was always dragging me out during law school, making sure that I didn’t spend all my time in the library studying. If there’s a party, you’ll always find Mack right in the middle of it, mak

ing everyone laugh.”

I smiled, although it was forced. I didn’t care if Mack was as charming and suave as James Bond. I only needed him to tell me the truth about Logan and Kristina. I had wrestled with the idea of just asking Logan outright if he was cheating on me. I had never met Mack before, and as Logan’s friend, his loyalty was to him. Even if I did get a chance to talk to Mack alone, he was sure to tell Logan that I had been asking about Kristina. But I just couldn’t bring myself to question Logan. I didn’t know if it was because I was afraid of the answer or afraid that Logan would lie to me and I would make myself believe it, wanting so desperately for things to be okay between us. As implausible as it sounded, I made myself believe that I could somehow convince Mack not to tell Logan that I had questioned him about Kristina.

By the time the car was valeted and we stepped inside the plush restaurant, I was able to mask most of my nervousness and smiled easily when the maître d’ guided us to the table where Mack was already waiting. He stood up with a wide grin and gave Logan a hug. I was surprised when Logan hugged him back enthusiastically since he wasn’t much of a hugger, except when it came to me. It gave me a chance to study Mack, and I realized that the picture I had seen of him hadn’t done him justice. He was just as tall as Logan, but where Logan was light-haired and blue-eyed, Mack had dark brown hair that was almost black, and equally dark eyes. He could easily be described as tall, dark and handsome, but the easy humor that seemed to be his natural countenance made him seem friendly and approachable.

Logan introduced me to Mack and I was surprised when he hugged me as well. I awkwardly patted his arm, unsure of what else to do. I was normally an affectionate person, but not with complete strangers. Especially a complete stranger whom I was trying to figure out how to interrogate without Logan finding out.

“Sorry,” Mack said with a grin, evidently noticing my stiffness. “Logan talks about you so damned much that I feel like I already know you. I’m one of those annoying people who hugs everyone.”

I smiled a genuine smile. Logan was right. Mack was definitely charming. “I’m never one to turn down a hug, especially from one of Logan’s friends.”