Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan 2)

I was mindless with pleasure when the unwelcome sound of Logan’s cell phone ringing interrupted our grunts and moans. I wanted to ignore it, but it was in my line of sight because it was sitting on the side table right next to us, so close that I could easily grab it. I wanted to scream when I saw Kristina’s number flashing across the screen.

“Ignore it,” Logan said through gritted teeth. “It’s only us here now.”

An insidious thought grew despite his words. Kristina needed to know that she had no chance with Logan. She needed to know that he was mine. Without thinking it through, I reached down and hit the button on the cell phone to connect the call. Logan’s entire focus was on fucking me and he didn’t notice what I did.

I didn’t have to pretend as I moaned loudly as he pounded into me. The room was filled with the sounds of our raw sex, and I knew Kristina could hear it as well.

My thoughts about Kristina receded as pure sensation overtook me. My body bowed as the pressure inside me erupted and I was wracked with waves of unadulterated pleasure. Logan followed close behind me with a harsh shout, pumping his release into me.

His head dropped against me when he was done, his brow sweaty. I wrapped my arms around him, wanting to be this close to him forever. My gaze dropped down and I saw that the screen of his phone was lit up and the call was still connected. I had acted without thinking, and I felt my stomach drop as I realized what I had done. Sure, Kristina needed to be put in her place, but this had been too cruel.

I froze when Logan’s gaze dropped to see what I was looking at. He stared at the phone for a few seconds, the silence thick with tension as he absorbed what had happened. His gaze flicked back up to me, and I could see the revulsion in his eyes.

Even worse was the condemnation in his expression as he stepped back, slipping out of me. His furious glower told me he was beyond angry.

Logan reached down and pressed the button to disconnect the call. He stepped back, adjusting his clothing, and I quickly followed suit. He didn’t say anything. He just stood there, staring at me, waiting for an explanation.

I swallowed hard. There was nothing I could say except the truth. “I did it without thinking,” I admitted quietly. “I was just really upset that you were giving her feelings any sort of consideration. I also thought it would be an effective way for her to get the message.” I stared at his chest, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes. “I wish I could take it back.”

“I don’t know if this crap is typical for you to pull, but I won’t allow it. It was a ruthless thing to do. Kristina doesn’t deserve to be treated so callously.”

My eyes shot up to his. All the guilt I had been feeling evaporated, replaced by pure rage.

“Kristina doesn’t deserve to be treated so callously?” I repeated, seething with resentment. “She’s lying to you. She’s manipulating you. She’s taking advantage of your memory loss and trying to make you believe you’re engaged to her. And you’re telling me I shouldn’t treat her so callously?”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to leave before I did or said something I would regret, because the anger bubbling inside me was white hot and dangerous.

“I think we should spend some time apart.” I grabbed my bag and stalked towards the door. “Call me when you get your head out of your ass.”

I got as far as opening the front door before Logan pulled me back. I opened my mouth to berate him, but he spun me around and hugged me hard. My body was tense at first, not wanting to give in, but it was a losing battle against Logan’s hard, warm body. I felt the rigidity melting away until I was nestled against hi

m, my face buried in his neck.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, stroking my hair. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I forget how hard all of this must be for you. But I’m not choosing Kristina. I’ve already chosen you. It’s just hard to tell someone I don’t even know that they’re a liar. It’s totally different having your past told to you, instead of having lived it. I can’t help but feel detached from it all. The one thing that’s been grounding me is you, because I know without a doubt we’re supposed to be together.”

Logan’s words had its intended effect, and my anger evaporated. I confessed my greatest fear since realizing that Logan didn’t remember me. “I just don’t want to be left behind,” I said quietly. “I’m afraid you’re going to leave me. I don’t know what I’d do if that happened.”

Logan shifted his head to kiss my temple. “That will never happen, I promise.” He lifted my chin so that I met his gaze. “Do you believe me?”

I nodded, although there was a small part of me that would always be doubtful until he regained his memory. But now wasn’t the time to bring it up.

We were both exhausted by the emotional upheaval, so we went to bed. Not much was said. I think we were both afraid that words would just lead to more fighting. We held each other as we fell asleep, and I prayed that morning would bring a better day.

Chapter Thirteen

I only slept a few hours before waking. I tried to go back to sleep but I was restless, my mind overwhelmed with worries and fears. It was barely dawn when I finally decided to give up on sleep. I got out of bed as quietly as I could, since Logan was sound asleep, and padded out of the bedroom, softly closing the door behind me.

It was still dark so I flicked on the small lamp on Logan’s desk before sitting down in his chair. I turned on his computer, intending to email my boss to tell him that I would be able to start work again the week after Thanksgiving. Logan’s computer was in sleep mode instead of being off, like I had expected. I had been the only one to use it earlier in the day before Mack came over for dinner, and I had turned it off after I was done.

My stomach dropped when I saw that a folder was already open. It was the folder that I had snooped through previously when I had learned about Kristina visiting Logan in the hospital. It was the folder full of happy pictures of Logan and Kristina looking like the perfect couple. Why had Logan been looking at these? And when had he looked at them? He hadn’t been on the computer any time tonight while I had been awake, so he had to have looked at them while I was sleeping.

The realization left a bitter taste in my mouth. While I had been asleep, Logan had been looking at pictures of Kristina. What had compelled him to go onto his computer in the middle of the night? Had he accidentally stumbled upon her pictures, or had he already known that they were there, and purposefully gotten up to look at them?

I wanted to delete them all, but I told myself I couldn’t act recklessly again. The fact that Logan had been looking at these pictures didn’t mean anything. He had probably gotten on the computer because he couldn’t sleep and discovered them. Any other explanation would crush me.

I turned off the computer and padded into the kitchen to make coffee. It had just finished brewing when Logan walked in.

“Why are you up so early?” he asked sleepily. He walked over and pulled me into a hug. “I know it’s a Monday, but I thought we were both still playing hooky from work this week.”