I felt sick. Of course she
didn’t feel like she could call Logan. Not after what had happened the last time she had called him.
“I guess we should go see her,” Logan said.
I shook my head. There was no way I could face Kristina. For all the lies she had told and all her manipulations, they seemed minor compared to what I had done to her. And I still hadn’t forgotten that I had taken Logan away from her in the first place. I hadn’t set out to steal him from her, but maybe she was justified in trying to do the same.
“You go ahead. I’m probably the last person she wants to see right now.”
Logan looked at me questioningly. “Are you sure? You’re okay with me going to see her on my own?”
I nodded my head. “It’s fine. Go ahead.”
“I’ll stay with Madison,” Mack offered. He frowned when Logan hesitated. “As a friend,” he added, stressing the last word.
Logan grimaced. “Sorry. I’m not trying to be a jackass. Thanks.”
I watched his retreating back as he went down the hallway to Kristina’s room, my emotions jumbled and confusing.
“Why don’t we sit down,” Mack suggested, guiding me to a row of empty chairs in the waiting room. I followed him and sat down, staring at my clenched hands. There was no way I could tell him about what had precipitated Kristina’s suicide attempt. I didn’t want him to know how depraved I could be.
“Who found her?” I asked, my voice strained.
“Housekeeping. She’s been staying at a hotel not too far away from Logan’s apartment. When she didn’t answer, they came in to clean the room and found her on the bed with the almost empty bottle of pills next to her. When they couldn’t wake her up, they called an ambulance.”
I didn’t want to hear anymore. It was too distressing. I didn’t say anything else while we waited for Logan. Mack seemed to sense my need for silence and just sat next to me without speaking.
It seemed like forever until I saw Logan walking back towards the waiting room.
“How is she?” I asked when he sat down next to me.
“She looks pale and weak but she’s okay,” Logan said. “She tried to tell me it was an accident, but when I really pressed her, she admitted that she took too many on purpose, but only because she was desperate to sleep. Not because she was trying to kill herself.”
I wanted to ask Logan if she had mentioned hearing us have sex, but I couldn’t in front of Mack. For some reason, I just couldn’t stand to have Mack find out what a repulsive thing I had done.
Logan studied me for a moment before speaking again. “She asked if she could spend some time with me. I told her I would talk to you about it, but even if you agreed, it would only be with the both of us. I think she’s afraid to be alone right now. She told me she doesn’t have much family in California to go back to for Thanksgiving. Her father died in a car accident while she was in high school, and she’s estranged from her mother.”
What the hell was I supposed to say to that? As guilty as I felt, I wanted to scream no. She would just try to manipulate Logan into being with her.
“I…I don’t know,” I said hesitantly. “I need to think about it.”
“Why don’t you guys go home,” Mack interjected. “I’ll stay here with her. They’re releasing her tomorrow and I’ll make sure she gets back to her hotel safely.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it,” Logan said. “Call me if you need anything.”
My emotions were a jumbled mess on the drive home. Guilt and fear warred with each other. Could I refuse Kristina’s request after what I had done? But wouldn’t that just be giving her an opportunity to get her hooks back into Logan?
When we got back to Logan’s apartment, I collapsed on the couch. Logan sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders.
“Let’s not talk about it for a while,” I said wearily, when he turned to me. “I can’t take any more stress. I’ll think about her request and make a decision by the time she’s discharged from the hospital tomorrow.”
“I was just going to ask what you wanted to eat,” Logan said with a rueful smile. “Everything else can wait.”
Logan made a concerted effort to keep things light for the rest of the day, which made me feel even guiltier. I was the one who had done a despicable thing, yet he was the one trying to cheer me up.
Emily called, and I couldn’t even fathom trying to explain to her everything that had happened. I felt bad lying, but I was physically and emotionally exhausted, so I told her everything was fine and I would call her back later when I had more time to talk.
Mack called us once in the evening to let us know that everything was fine, and that he would call us again the next day when Kristina left the hospital. Logan thanked him again for looking after her, and said he would talk to him tomorrow.