Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan 2)

“I won’t be needing your help,” I said to the rental agent. “Thanks anyway.”

I turned on my heel and walked outside. Logan followed me, his expression hopeful. It killed me that he thought he could act like he hadn’t done anything wrong, but the truth was I needed to get to Laurenston as soon as possible, and currently he was my only option. I briefly considered calling other rental car locations to see what they had available, but I didn’t have the time to waste.

I sighed in resignation. “Okay, I accept your offer. But I won’t hesitate to get out of your car, even if it’s on the side of the highway, if you push me to talk about things I don’t want to discuss.”

Logan looked relieved. “I understand.”

We got back in his car and we drove in silence for a while. I was the first one to break the silence.

“I’m going to Laurenston in Michigan. I guess I should ask you if you remember how to get there.”

Logan nodded, smiling grimly. “That I can remember. I can’t seem to remember the important things in my life, but I seem to have retained all the meaningless shit.”

I didn’t comment and we lapsed back into silence. I could feel Logan glancing at me every now and then, but I ignored him, trying to concentrate on what I would do once I got to the Brooks’ home.

An hour had passed before either of us spoke again. I could see out of my peripheral that Logan was looking at me, and I finally looked back at him.

“Can you keep your eyes on the road?” I asked, trying not to sound annoyed. “I’d like to get to Laurenston in one piece.”

“Why are you going there?” he asked, turning his gaze back to the road. “I thought your father was vacationing in Florida.”

“I’m not going there to visit my father.”

I knew Logan was waiting for me to elaborate, but I wasn’t about to tell him what was going on with Mrs. Brooks. He had no place in my life anymore, and I didn’t want to share any of it with him. I was desperate for the old Logan who would have been my rock throughout all of this, but he no longer existed.

Logan sighed but he didn’t push any further. As we got closer to Laurenston, I realized that I would have to tell Logan exactly where I was going since he was the one driving me.

“Do you remember where the Brooks’ live?” I asked.

“You mean Cassie’s parents?” Logan shook his head. “No. I remember how to get to Laurenston, but in my mind it’s just a faceless town. The only reason I know it’s your hometown is because you told me before, in the hospital. I have no idea where Cassie’s parents live.”

How could he look like Logan, sound like Logan, even act like Logan, but not be Logan? I gave myself a mental shake. For all I knew, the man in the car with me now was the real Logan. He could have been cheating on me with Kristina before the accident and just hid it from me. I forced myself to stop thinking about it. All I was doing was torturing myself.

I cleared my mind and directed Logan to the Brooks’ house. He parked in front of the house and turned off the engine.

“Thanks for the ride,” I said, my stomach churning as I stared at their house. It was a beautiful Colonial home that hid a multitude of dysfunction, and I was dreading going inside. I always felt like I was falling into a rabbit hole when I entered their house, where logic and linear time no longer existed.

“Do you want me to go inside with you?” Logan asked.

I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. You can go ahead and leave since I don’t know how long I’ll be here. I’ll probably be spending the night.”

Despite my words, I made no motion to leave the car. I just sat in the passenger seat, staring at the house that suddenly looked foreboding. I had rushed here with such a sense of urgency, but now fear of what I was about to walk into made me drag my feet.

“Are you sure?” Logan asked gently. I turned my head to look at him and my heart ached at the way he was looking at me. There was such care and affection in his gaze. It was the way he used to look at me before he lost his memory, when he knew who the hell I was.

I opened my mouth to refuse again, but I found myself saying yes.

“Can you come in for a little bit?” I paused, before continuing. “I’m just a little nervous about what state I’m going to find Mrs. Brooks in.”

“Of course. I’ll stay as long as you like.”

Logan got out of the car and walked over to my side, opening the passenger door. I looked up at him, and in that moment, I was grateful for his presence, regardless of what had happened the past few days.

I rang the doorbell and we waited awhile for someone to answer. When Mr. Brooks finally opened the door, I was shocked by his appearance.

He seemed to have aged ten years since the last time I had seen him. His face was sallow and there were dark circles under his eyes. Every line on his face spoke to the fatigue and anxiety he must be living with.

“Thank God, you’re here,” he said. “She’s desperate to see you.”